'Portsmouth were nutcases - the police once arrested me for swearing in a game': Ex-Sheffield United and Brighton winger Paul Wood

If ever a moment encapsulated a Pompey era, being arrested for swearing on the football pitch was so wonderfully apt.

The October 1986 incident still baffles Paul Wood, the protagonist along with Mick Quinn on that Fratton Park afternoon against West Bromwich Albion.

Then again, this was Alan Ball’s Gremlins at the peak of their powers, or, according to Wood, the real Crazy Gang rather than those Wimbledon imposters.

Having come through the Blues’ youth set-up, the attacker’s formative years were spent surviving in an iconic dressing room containing the likes of Mick Kennedy, Noel Blake, Kevin Dillon, Mick Tait and Billy Gilbert.

Wood holds the rare distinction of representing the Blues during two separate playing spells, totalling 95 appearances and 14 goals before retiring through injury in 1996.

Yet in a career which yielded three promotions, Ball’s infamous side remains his favourite - even if it did land him in trouble with Hampshire Constabulary.

‘I loved it in that team, absolutely loved it. I would imagine every Pompey player at the time felt the same,’ Wood told The News.

‘I thought every side was like that, yet it was only when I left Pompey did I realise they definitely weren’t! They used to call Wimbledon the Crazy Gang, but Pompey were the real Crazy Gang. They were absolute nutcases in that side.

‘I look at the team photo now and that’s the one I’d like to turn the clock back and play with again, it was amazing.

‘That West Brom game sums everything up, I suppose. We’d just won 2-1 and were in the dressing room afterwards when two policemen came in and addressed me and Quinny (Mick Quinn).

‘One of them said: “Can you get yourselves dressed? We have to eject you from the ground”. Thankfully we had already showered, so it didn't take too long to get ready.

‘It turned out a fan had reported us for swearing on the pitch during the match! Come on, in those days everybody swore on the pitch.

‘I don’t know if they do now because they cover their mouths up, but back then everyone did. However, one supporter didn’t like it, so reported me and Quinny - and we were ejected from the ground.

‘Interestingly enough, the complaint had been made in the second half, after I had appeared as a substitute, so no damage was done. Had it happened in the first-half, the police would have acted at half-time, meaning we'd have been short of players in the second half!

‘As it happened, we were escorted about 20 yards down Frogmore Road before one of the policemen told us: “You might as well go back in now, we’ve done our job”. So we returned to the changing room!

‘We never heard from the police about it again and I cannot think of another time a footballer has been arrested for swearing in a match. I've absolutely no idea who that fan supported either.

‘You could have picked any game and pretty much every player swore. When you’re working that hard, you get frustrated. A bad pass and you’re getting it, or if somebody’s not marking. That’s the way you talked to people, there was no politeness about it. It was aggressive and loud.

‘Especially that group of players.’

Spotted by Pompey’s north-east scout playing for Guisborough Town under-18s, Wood was invited for a Fratton Park trial in 1981 - accompanied by his entire team.

Following two matches against Pompey’s youth-team, in which the attacker totalled four goals, he was offered a two-week trial by himself, only to be laid up in bed in a Southsea hotel for the majority of it with bronchopneumonia.

Regardless, he signed apprenticeship forms in July 1981, and would join Kevin Ball and Paul Hardyman, both from the age group below, in progressing into Pompey’s first-team.

Bobby Campbell handed Wood his debut at Middlesbrough in January 1984 as a 19-year-old, yet it was the elevation of his former youth-team boss Alan Ball to Blues manager which would prove pivotal.

Ball’s boldly declared ‘A star is born’ following Wood's eye-catching two-goal display in a 4-0 triumph over Shrewsbury in December 1985, yet, ultimately, his career was impacted by injury.

Wood added: ‘I’ve had a lot of managers, you’d recognise the names: Jim Smith, Dave Bassett, Harry Redknapp, but Bally was head and shoulders above them.

‘I don’t know if I'd have been a footballer if it wasn’t for him. Probably the likes of Kevin Ball and Paul Hardyman might say something similar. He put us in there with these big players and believed in us.

‘It was his passion, that will to win. He couldn’t run by then, but was still a good player. We’d go into the gym and stand in a circle playing keep-ball. Should somebody get it off you, then you’d replace them in the middle.

‘Bally never did, though. He’d lean against the wall flicking it whenever it came near him, you couldn’t intercept his passes. He was a class act.

‘At the time, I didn’t realise how special it was with that group of players. We were kids but they never looked after us - we had to quickly start looking after ourselves, to be honest!

‘Everyone got properly stuck in during training, there was nothing ever held back, especially with Mick Kennedy around. He was the same in training as he was in a game, he didn’t leave anything on the pitch. If there was a ball to be won, he’d win it.

‘When he died in February 2019, I attended his funeral in County Clare, Republic of Ireland, because I had so much respect for that team. Noel Blake contacted me, so I joined some of the old team.

‘After Micky left Pompey for Bradford, I faced him as a Brighton player. I knew how he put in a tackle, if it was a 50/50, he’d skim the top of the ball so he touched it, but also went through you. If it broke your leg, he couldn’t care less, he was just in it for a hard challenge.

‘Anyhow, the ball came between us and I thought “Here we go, I know he’s going to do me”. Now I wasn’t prepared to take six studs off him, so I decided to go over the top, miss the ball completely and get a deserved booking.

‘So I flew in six inches above the ball - only he went a foot-and-a-half above the ball, leaving six stud marks in my chest and me on the floor in pain. He'd done me again, how did I not see that coming?

‘As I got up, Micky was being booked, then he turned and winked at me. You never stop learning from players like that.

‘Bally’s team was hard, you wouldn’t have messed with any of them, they could look after themselves, but were all nice blokes. Some real characters too, nobody was carried on that pitch, you could see the manager’s influence.

‘I remember Bally starting me at Blackburn in May 1985 and giving me the instructions “If the ball goes across the pitch, you chase it. They have two big lads at the back, give them hell”. I ended up getting sent off in a 1-0 win through Mick Tait’s goal. 

‘That was a battle, one of the dirtiest games there has ever been on Match Of The Day. When you saw the highlights of it that night, it was absolutely brutal with the fouls and the rabbit punches, but you stand your ground, you back each other up.

‘I’ve won promotion with three clubs, but never seen a changing room like that, nowhere near.

‘We went up to the old Division One with Sheffield United in 1989-90 when really we shouldn't have done, that was a team of rejects, cheap buys and free transfers. We had Brian Deane and Tony Agana up front, it was a really good side, but it wasn’t Pompey.

‘Bournemouth was a great changing room and, when I returned to Pompey under Jim Smith, that was brilliant too - but it still wasn’t that original dressing room under Bally.’

Little did Wood realise that a pelvic injury sustained in January 1987 during their Division Two promotion campaign would initially signal the end of his time at Fratton Park after six years, 60 appearances and 11 goals.

Ruling him out of action for the remainder of the season, upon his return to fitness he realised first-team opportunities were limited, so signed for Brighton in August 1987 in an £80,000 deal.

He won promotion from Division Three in that maiden 1987-88 campaign, then enjoyed success at Sheffield United, before spending three years at Bournemouth, where he was managed by Harry Redknapp and Tony Pulis.

Then, in February 1994, Pompey wanted him back - six-and-a-half years after selling him.

Wood added: ‘It came out of the blue and I was absolutely gobsmacked, but I didn’t have to think twice about returning.

‘I was doing quite well at Bournemouth, although me and Pulis weren’t getting on at the time, even though I was in the first-team. Warren Aspinall came on loan from Pompey twice in that 1993-94 season, and they wanted to keep him.

‘When Jim Smith mentioned he’d be interested in a player exchange for me, Bournemouth got Aspinall and £20,000. It was a totally different generation of players, but the backroom staff at Fratton Park was pretty much the same and lots of people in the office were still there.

‘What a move, I loved being back, with another great team of players too. The likes of Paul Walsh and Alan McLoughlin were super players and cracking lads. As for Jim Smith, what a character.

‘I would put him on a par with Bally in terms of passion, he didn’t want to lose. I remember when I was at Pompey as a kid, I loved listening to his team-mates, I respected all those Pompey managers I played under.

‘Jim played a different way of football compared to my previous spell, it was a different time, things had evolved, not necessarily for the better or worse. He made one or two signings which didn’t quite fit in, they didn’t perform the way he thought they would, and we struggled a bit.

‘Frustratingly, I had problems with injury and when Terry Fenwick took over he was great with me, superb, but couldn’t give me another contract as I’d been out for so long after medial knee ligament damage. I retired in 1996.’

An injury-hit second Pompey spell totalled 34 appearances and three goals and, after retiring, he returned to spend the 1997-98 season with Hong Kong-based Happy Valley, before an eye-catching swansong with Havant & Waterlooville.

Signed by former Blues team-mate Billy Gilbert, Wood featured 137 times for the Hawks, scoring 48 goals and becoming a huge fans’ favourite, before ending his career with Dorchester in May 2004.

Now aged 59, he works as a decorator in Bournemouth, who finds time to catch up with former Pompey players including Andy Awford, Mark Chamberlain, Paul Walsh and Lee Bradbury to play golf at Old Thorns in Liphook.

‘I had a great time at Brighton, a fantastic time at Sheffield United, a great time at Bournemouth and a great time in my second Pompey spell,' said Wood.

‘A few injuries set me back, but I overcame them and had a good career, playing for a long time, which a lot of players don’t manage to do. I’m probably paying a price for it now, though, the aches and pains are pretty bad.

‘But, if I could turn back the clock and walk into any of my changing rooms, then it would be that Alan Ball one from my first spell.

‘I would love to see those faces again, to be with those lads, that time was special. Very, very special.’