The ideal Portsmouth wingman for a date, the biggest hard nut in a pub brawl and the ideal sidekick for an epic away day
It’s also a football club with a rich tapestry of characters across its 122-year history which is virtually unparalleled in the game.
From Field Marshal Montgomery in the boardroom to Barry and Kev in the kitroom, it’s the personality of the club and the people within it which gives Pompey its unique identity and charm.
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Hide AdWell, now is the time to tap into that library of folk for a not-so-serious personality test which may (or probably won’t at all) reveal much about what kind of Pompey character you are.
Below are 15 slightly irreverent scenarios which need you to harness your knowledge to see which figure(s) connected with the club you would call on.
1. It’s closing time at the Shepherd’s Crook. Skinhead Steve’s worked his way across the optics and now wants to take you on with his boys. Who do you want next to you?
Mick Kennedy
Michael Doyle
Darren Moore
Billy Gilbert
Other
2. Day three of your Ibiza stag do. You’re in pieces, the Looky Looky man’s had your wallet after a 3am Jäger train crash and the apartment smells of rotting corpses doused in Kouros and Joop. Who do want to raise the spirits?
Peter Crouch
Simon Ferry
Harry Redknapp
Other
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Hide Ad3. You’re on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. You’re up for the £1m question with just a phone a friend left. Who do you want on the other end of the line?
Christian Burgess
David James
Barry Harris
Other
4.Your daughter says she’s met the one and would like to introduce you to the man she wants to spend her life with. Who do you want to walk through the door?
Kenny Jackett
Matt Taylor
Brett Pitman
Other
5. Your life is on the line in a game of World Cup one v one against Leo Messi. Who do you want fighting your corner?
Andres D’Alessandro
Paul Walsh
Kanu
Robert Prosinecki
Other
6. You’re up in court on a crimes to fashion charge. Who do you bring in as your star witness to sweet-talk the jury and secure your freedom?
Harry Redknapp
Marie Curtis
Mark Catlin
Other
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Hide Ad7. You’re stuck in a room for the rest of your life with one game on repeat. What’s your choice?
FA Cup final v Cardiff
The 4-1 Demolition Derby
The FA Cup semi-final v Spurs
AC Milan
Other
8. You’re on the Titanic with every figure connected with Pompey in history. Sod the women and children, you’ve nabbed a lifeboat and have got space to save three of your Blues heroes. Who gets a berth?
9. You’ve been putting in the hard yards with an absolute worldie for months. You finally get the breakthrough and they want to meet up on Saturday night. There’s a late curveball though, and they want to make it a double date. Who’s your wingman?
Ronan Curtis
Gareth Evans
Conor Chaplin
Other
10. It’s Sunderland at the Stadium of Light with your mates. You can give one ticket to any Pompey fan past or present. Who gets to join you for an epic away day?
Arthur Conan Doyle
Field Marshal Montgomery
Ian Darke
Fred Dinenage
Other
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Hide Ad11. You’ve got the call from the WWE to enter the next Wrestlemania and fight for the title. Who do you enlist as your tag-team partner?
Linvoy Primus
Lomana Lualua
Marko Futacs
Noel Blake
Other
12. Your mate who loves football but isn’t quite good enough to play the game has had enough of trying to round up 11 hungover mates on a Sunday morning and quits managing your team. If Carlsberg did parks league managers, which Pompey boss is his successor?
Alan Ball
Paul Cook
Harry Redknapp
Bob Jackson
Other
13. You’ve got to invite a figure connected to Pompey into your house to stay with your other half while you’re away for the weekend. Who do you entrust?
Kenny Jackett
Kev the Kitman
Linvoy Primus
Other
14. You’ve made it to the final four on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out or Here! You’ve got the pick of Pompey history to join you for Celebrity Cyclone and your last supper. Who are the three people you choose?
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Hide Ad15. It’s Pompey Mastermind for a season ticket for life. Who’s the best Blues anorak to get you that seat at Fratton?
Barry Harris
Johnny Moore
Colin Farmery
Other
A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron
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