Jonny Donahoe seeks Forgiveness in new show about parenthood at The Ashcroft Arts Centre, Fareham | Interview

Jonny Donahoe does not know his dad.
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He is now a dad himself.

Forgiveness is his new autobiographical show about the cycles of abuse that form and affect who we are; if and how we can escape them and move on.

It is rooted in his own childhood with an abusive father and its, unsurprising, lifelong impact on him.

Jonny Donahoe: Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre in Fareham on February 19, 2022.Jonny Donahoe: Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre in Fareham on February 19, 2022.
Jonny Donahoe: Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre in Fareham on February 19, 2022.
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More often found as one half of the satirical musical comedy duo, Jonny and The Baptists, this is Donahoe’s second solo show.

‘My first was made with Duncan Macmillan and is called Every Brilliant Thing, and we did it for a lot longer than we originally planned because it did well – which is nice, no complaints – but it's meant I've taken a long time to do the next one.’

Following a successful UK run, the show was taken to America and filmed as an HBO special.

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Jonny Donahoe's Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre on February 19, 2022Jonny Donahoe's Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre on February 19, 2022
Jonny Donahoe's Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre on February 19, 2022

But whereas that was very loosely based in fact, drawing on Jonny and Duncan’s lives and giving them a twist, this show is strongly rooted in the former’s experience.

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‘It's about not having a great childhood and then having children yourself which I think is true of quite a few people,’ explains Jonny.

As we talk about Forgiveness, it feels as if Jonny finds it easier to perform the show than analyse it.

‘I did want to talk about it, but I also didn't want to talk about it,’ he says.

‘I really didn't want to tell this story in some ways, but I felt quite blocked by it. I needed to be able to tell it so I could move on and tell other stories.

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‘And it's the story of why I didn't want to have children – or why I thought I didn't want to have children following my childhood, which was... not fun.

‘It was not an experience I enjoyed, and not one I wanted to go back to.’

And he is acutely aware of how the subject matter is at odds with what most people would know him for.

‘I really dislike trauma pornography. I understand why some people need to get it off their chests, but sometimes shows which are about your own pain are just painful to watch, and my intention was to make the most joyful uplifting show I could.

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‘It's hard because I am talking about serious and sad things, but I am also talking about incredibly joyful and warm things, and I wanted it to be as funny as any of my other shows, even though it wasn't something that was funny.’

The show’s lengthy gestation – it was originally supposed to tour in spring 2020 – has actually meant Jonny is now a parent twice over.

‘I originally wrote it having just had a baby – my little girl is three, and my second little girl is now 10 weeks old.

‘So what's rather interesting is that I've come back to this, it's about my first daughter, but I'm reliving it with my second, who has been strapped to me for all of the rehearsals.’

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Becoming a father wasn't something Jonny wanted from life as he thought it ‘would be like going backwards.’

‘I didn't like school – I love being an adult, I'm a really happy person, it's not an act on stage or for interviews. I find joy in life quite easy, and I didn't find that for a lot of my childhood.

‘Institutions and I didn't suit each other, amongst other things. And I had a terrible relationship with my dad and my mum was very ill, so there was a lot of trauma.

‘I guess those things are hard to deal with as a child, but I thought if I had children I'd be reliving them as my children had to go to school.

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‘But what's very obvious to anyone who is a parent, but may not be to someone who isn't, is that you don't go backwards – you move completely forwards.

‘And the most healing and cathartic thing is having a baby, and treating it better than you've been treated – loving it in a way that you weren't loved, and finding that it’s easy and intuitive and instinctive.

‘What that taught me was that I had a parent who wasn't good or kind or loving to me – it really reveals to you that it wasn't your fault.‘When you are given a baby, it's yours and you love it, so instantaneously and absolutely, you go: “Oh, so that wasn't me!”

‘It's weird not to love your children – it's worth telling a story about it, and that's what this is.’

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He agrees it’s been a cathartic process, and adds: ‘It's much more about having my baby, than my childhood, but it's about both.

‘It's about looking back over my childhood and forgiving the people who wronged me, but also forgiving myself for all the shame I've felt and letting it all go.’

Jonny also pays tribute to his ‘amazing’ director P Burton-Morgan

‘They're a Buddhist, and of course forgiveness is a big part of Buddhism. I'm not a Buddhist, I'm an agnostic – I would love to have faith, it sounds lovely, I have such respect and love for people who do.

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‘I always find those celebrity atheists, naming no names, you can't help but look at the hypocrisy of someone saying: “I know I'm right!” It's such an odd thing to say about something you can never know...’

Jonny realises we’ve gone off on a tangent and brings the conversation back to Forgiveness.

Becoming a parent was a catalyst for Jonny to face up to his own past – and he also started going to therapy.

‘Before I had a child, I was a very heavy drinker,’ but by no means an alcoholic he stresses, ‘who'd never been to therapy because I had my therapy,’ he laughs, meaning the drinking, ‘and I'd never dealt or processed what my childhood was like.‘I had a very abusive dad and then I stopped seeing him at 13 and I've never seen him since and that was my choice.

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‘I had a baby, I stopped drinking and started going to therapy – I started trying to work it out and fix, and all those things are one thing.’

He has found that having children has made him deal very much with the here and now, to stay grounded in the present.

‘I've reclaimed the present for myself by dealing with the past. I'm really glad of that, so I'm talking about it in the funniest way I can so you have a really wonderful experience at the show, whoever you are.

‘But if you have also been through anything, you might consider doing the same, if you haven't already. That's my intention, if that doesn't sound grandiose and ridiculous!’

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And does he wonder what his own father would make of the show?

‘It doesn't matter – it's not for him.

‘We don't share anything – this isn't about him, it's about me. I reference him because it's necessary to tell the story.

‘It's not a hatchet job. You don't know him, and you'll never meet him and you can't find him. We don't share a name, we're not online together in any way.

‘There's no link between us, and it's not revenge, it's the opposite, it's about forgiving and moving on.’

Does he know where he is?

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‘I don't know, and that's okay for me, and maybe good for him as well.’

Jonny Donahoe: Forgiveness is at The Ashcroft Arts Centre, Fareham on Saturday, February 19. Go to ashcroft.org.uk.

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