Mother of two who fled to Havant Stop Domestic Abuse refuge shares how she got help

Marcella James was in hospital in Brighton in 2019 when doctors put her in touch with the Stop Domestic Abuse refuge charity, based in Havant, and before she knew it she was on a train to Portsmouth, forced to leave family and friends behind.

Now she has returned to her home city but wants to raise awareness of the practical help and emotional support that is available to those in need during and after a domestic abuse situation.

The 44-year-old said: ‘It was about three months in when he first hurt me. I had really bad injuries but I couldn’t see them as I wasn’t allowed to leave the bedroom.

‘When I was in hospital I was given a number and they told me to call it when I needed to get out and I would be put on a train and get a text about which station to get off at and who to meet.

‘It was a really scary time as I didn’t know who to trust. I was terrified to leave as I kept thinking that he just had me and I had to wait for him to fall asleep.

‘Leaving my two children, who were 13 and 18 at the time, and my family was so hard.’

Marcella stayed at the Stop Domestic Abuse (SDA) refuge from March 2019, and received support until she was able to go home a few months later.

She said: ‘I was lucky that I had eight people who made statements for the court case and he was put away.

‘I made such good friendships at the refuge because everyone understood how we all felt and the staff were amazing. I was left with complex PTSD and anxiety from everything. I couldn’t go into shops for a while and I had flashbacks as well.

‘It took time but I have come through it all now and a completely different person thanks to the support from SDA.’

It comes as the charity says it has received five times as many referrals for help compared to last year.

Operations director Rachel Windebank said: ‘Everyone’s home should be a place of rest and sanctuary, but sadly we know this isn’t the case for some in our communities.

‘We’re also mindful that restrictions aimed to stop the spread of the coronavirus have contributed to an increase in domestic abuse; with violence and abuse in homes more frequent, more severe and more dangerous.

‘Whilst lockdown itself does not cause domestic abuse; the measures worsen behaviours already seen in many abusive partners.

SEE ALSO: Fareham mental health trainer shares advice on stress

‘Remember regardless of the tier in your local area, you are allowed to leave your home to escape harm. If you are in immediate danger, please call the police 999.’

Practical and emotional support from specialist workers can be called between 9.30am and 8pm, Monday to Friday, via 02392 065494 (for those in Portsmouth) and 033 0016 5112 (for anywhere in Hampshire).

If you need refuge accommodation outside o formal working hours, on Monday to Thursday evenings please call 07771 125991.

If you need to access emergency refuge at any time over a weekend or on a bank holiday please call 07501 378314.

Safety tips

- Create an emergency bag with ID, financial information, medication, and essential clothes

- Make a plan/develop an escape strategy

- Arrange a place to stay

- Consider ways he/she might track you

- Consider sharing your concerns with a trusted friend, family member, or neighbour.

The News and JPI Media has launched a mental health campaign, There For Each Other.

Over the next few weeks you will hear from a range of people about their mental health journeys, relating to a number of topics including Covid-19, veterans, suicide, financial stress, grief, domestic abuse and the impact of social media.

Health professionals, organisations and charities will be sharing the range of support that is available and how it can be accessed.

For mental health support across Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Waterlooville, Havant and Hampshire

A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron

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