Portsmouth domestic abuse survivor urges people to help victims during lockdown

Just 12 months ago Tori Tisson was being strangled in a hotel room by her then-boyfriend before two security guards, who had concerns about their behaviour, burst in before calling the police.

The 22-year-old from Portsmouth, who suffered emotional and physical abuse for seven months, wants the public to realise their role in helping potential victims.

Tori said: ‘I dread to think what would have happened if those security guards didn't come into the hotel room.

'I could have just been another statistic but I was lucky that they thought something was strange and did something about it. If I had been in the same relationship I was a year ago today then nobody may have come and that is the reality for people in lockdown with their abuser.

‘They must be terrified but I think it is so important to know there is help out there and they can get out.’

Aurora New Dawn, based in Havant, has set up a 24/7 helpline in response to the Covid-19 crisis and the lockdown imposed to limit the spread of the virus.

Chief executive Shonagh Dillon said: ‘As an organisation what we were most concerned about what reaching victims and survivors who are in lockdown with partners who are abusive so we set up a 24/7 helpline in response to the crisis.

‘In the first week of the helpline we have had 50 contacts.

‘We have seen an increase in parts of our service provision since the lockdown commenced, particularly on our domestic abuse services.’

Tori, who is currently on furlough from her job as an air hostess, said: ‘I think the charities do an amazing job and I also got so much help from the police who I thought would be cold but they couldn’t have been nicer and more understanding.

‘They talked through with me what I had been through and helped me realise it wasn’t my fault. At first I would show them text messages where he would make me feel guilty for not moving in with him and his mother which I did.

‘When I went to visit friends he would always video call me and want to see I was where I said I would be. They showed me it wasn’t my fault and I ended up making a statement and we went all the way through court before he changed his plea to guilty.

‘It was at that point I realised I had done it, I had survived. I couldn’t have done it without the support from officers.’

Tori wrote a poem entitled ‘Wings’ to express her journey and the help she received.

SEE ALSO: Domestic abuse helpline sees 25 per cent rise in calls during lockdown

It comes after a report praised Hampshire Police for encouraging neighbours and key workers, including supermarket staff and delivery drivers, to look out for signs of domestic abuse.

The report, Domestic Abuse and the Lockdown by thinktank The Centre for Social Justice, warned that lockdown measures to contain the Covid-19 outbreak, rules out traditional lifelines for vulnerable people, such as GP surgeries, churches, and hairdressers.

Assistant chief constable Scott Hilton said: ‘We are acutely aware that there will be people, in homes, where tensions are rising, where they may be suffering domestic abuse. It's crucial that you contact us.

‘Please know that we are there for you. You are not alone.’

Refuge, the UKs largest domestic abuse charity, saw calls and contacts to its National Domestic Abuse Helpline rise by 120 per cent overnight last week and traffic to its website up by 700 per cent.

Havant-based charity Stop Domestic Abuse has seen a decrease in self-referrals and referrals from other agencies and have widened the advice line hours for victims and perpetrators and are trying a virtual drop-in with silent contact so victims can get help without being overheard by the perpetrator.

Chief executive Claire Lambon said: ‘At Stop Domestic Abuse we know that if you are currently experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse you will know what being isolated and frightened feels like.

‘We know that this is a difficult and worrying time for everyone – but particularly so for adults and children living with domestic abuse. Try and keep a mobile phone with you at all times if possible.

‘We are still delivering services across Portsmouth and Hampshire and our refuges are still open. Our vision is a world without domestic abuse. We will not stop until domestic abuse does.’

During the daily coronavirus government briefing last weekend, home secretary Priti Patel announced that the Home Office is working with charities to provide an extra £2m for helplines and other online support.

Sandra Horley, CBE, chief executive of Refuge said: ‘We hope the government’s campaign will reach the tens of thousands of women experiencing domestic abuse. Refuge is here to provide confidential help and support – you are not alone.

‘We have worked around the clock to ensure our front line specialist services remain open and accessible to women experiencing domestic abuse.‘What is needed now, more than ever, is to ensure every woman experiencing domestic abuse is aware of the confidential support available.’

- Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service – 03300 165112

- Victim Care Service (Hampshire and Isle of Wight) - 0808 178 1641

- Stop Domestic Abuse – 02392 065494

- Aurora New Dawn – 02392 479254

- National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 / nationaldahelpline.org.uk

- Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327

- National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428

If you are a child or young person and domestic abuse is happening in your home or relationship, call Childline on 0800 1111.

If you are abusing someone or worried that you might, call The Hampton Trust on 023 8000 9898 or Respect on 0808 802 4040.

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