AGONY ADVICE: Should I admit my baby may not be my fiancée’s?

Our agony aunt solves your personal problems.

By The Newsroom
Thursday, 23rd May 2019, 1:49 pm
Updated Tuesday, 28th May 2019, 1:47 pm
Fiona Caine helps a woman who worries about who the father is of her unborn baby. Picture: PA
Fiona Caine helps a woman who worries about who the father is of her unborn baby. Picture: PA

Question: I’m six months pregnant and live with my fiancée. We have a great relationship, my problem is, I am not sure he is the father of my baby.

I met up with an old boyfriend about six months back and, after a few too many drinks over lunch, stupidly slept with him. I am worried my baby is going to be born tall and blonde (my fiance is short and has black hair). I love him so much and know he will be a great father.

Should I keep the secret and move on or tell him and get it over with?

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Answer: Most men would react badly to receiving this type of news, probably feeling betrayed and hurt. And many would almost certainly simply walk away; so I am not sure the truth is the best way forward here.

You have a secure relationship with a loving fiancée, who also sounds like he will be a good father. You have accepted you made a mistake and will not see your ex again, why risk damaging this and breaking your fiance's heart in the process?

Question: I work long hours, six days a week. When I get home, I rarely have the time or energy to cook proper food, so usually microwave something and have a few drinks.

What bothers me is that I now drink every night and often fall asleep on the sofa shortly afterwards. Yet, when I do eventually haul myself off to bed, I find it hard to sleep. And if I don't drink, I find it even harder to relax and fall asleep.

I am not an alcoholic and my health is otherwise good, so should I worry about drinking every night?

Answer: You may not be an alcoholic, but I think you may have a drink problem. Your disrupted sleep pattern suggests your health may not be as robust as you think. Do please get help.

Either talk with your GP, who should be able to refer you to a local support group, or contact Drinkline, the national alcohol helpline on 0300 123 1110. This organisation does not have a website, but you can call them on and talk in complete confidence.