My marriage is on the line if I do not lose weight | Rick Jackson

I’ve even been lying in bed, just relaxing, listening to everything going on in the room, then told off for snoring. I could only hear the telly.

Proof was damning. A recording was made of my superb impression of a walrus, crossed between a pig and a wort hog.

Tail between my legs, I walked down to the garage and brought into the house our airbed.

Pumped it up in the lounge and have spent the rest of the week downstairs.

Ironically, Sarah’s sleep hasn’t improved in my absence. In fact she said she can’t get to sleep and when she finally does it’s only light as I’m not there.

Meanwhile downstairs, the airbed is like sleeping on the skirt of the hovercraft, bouncing up and down. My head inches from a draughty fireplace, a ticking mantelpiece clock and a whirring Sky TV box. I’m now suffering too.

I know why I’m snoring. I’m overweight.

Yes, I go to the gym three times a week, but that alone isn’t enough to lose lots of weight.

I may be fitter and have bigger muscles, but I’m still three stone too heavy and this is the cause of the nocturnal cacophony of respiratory suction.

I’ve tried nasal stripes, throat sprays and magnetic nose clips, none of them work and they cost a small fortune.

I’ve tried different pillow combinations and fillings, the old tennis ball under the pillow trick and no pillows at all – that just gave me a stiff neck.

For me, the cure is easy – lose the blubber.

All the listener tips from my breakfast show failed to improve things for Sarah.

I know it’s worked for me before so I have no excuses; this is why it’s happening.

It’s time to wake up and smell the mustard.

I know what I need to do.

Between now and Christmas, lose the weight to save the marriage!

Home working doesn’t look comfortable or effective

My wife Sarah has returned to work after five months on furlough.

Now I come home from work and find her at the dinner table, tapping away on her laptop or partaking in team calls while I try not to put her off.

Sadly, a week in and she has spent most of her time trying to get her laptop to work, log into work systems and connect with people online. Then after work, the back and neck pain from either from working at the breakfast bar stools. No matter how we try, our homes are not really suitable for working.

How many home-workers are being provided with suitable equipment from their companies and money for all the extra electricity?

I am so glad kids have gone back to school, for their sake

The kids are back at school, hip-hip-hurray! Long may it continue too.

Kids need structure and routine and I’ve already seen an improvement in our kids.

Freddie was desperate to start Year 2 and he thrives at school, especially with his extra needs.

Our daughter Holly has just started reception.

A slow introduction to school sees her currently going in three mornings a week. I think Holly has been ready for school since she was two.

She needs the order and discipline of school in her life.

Long may they stay open as it’s not just their education that will suffer, it’s also our sanity.