My Saturday job foray into crop circle lawn-mowing | BBC Radio Solent's Alun Newman

I lived in a massive housing estate and it seemed most of my peers did something.

My first foray into the world of employment was cutting the grass of a local church. It had many plus points.

They were reliable with the cash.

If you didn't cut the grass too short, you could be back within a week.

There was extra business too. These were lovely pensioners who would wander past and ask whether I could cut their lawns.

The only slight pinch was that some of them loved to chat. If my hourly rate included socialising, I’d have made millions.

The peak of my mowing career was during the 1986 World Cup (Mexico).

I had seen on the TV that whoever was cutting the grass on the pitches was doing all kinds of cool stuff.

There were zigzags, circles, waves, it looked fantastic.

I started the creative experiment with delight at the local church believing it added flair and interest.

However, the church warden nipped it in the bud and said that I would break the wheels of the mower doing that every week.

I think he was worried it might be misconstrued as a complex spiritual message. Like a crop circle.

My daughter has hit 15 years old and noticed a rare opportunity in our local town for a Saturday job.

This was a hens teeth moment as every coffee shop needs you to be older.

With great courage and no help from me she went in and secured an interview.

The date was set and I decided that I would create an interview test scenario in the kitchen where she would be prepped for success.

I arranged two chairs and got my interview questions ready, when she got back from school I launched the plan.

On reflection, I should have allowed more space for her to chill out but it was too late and we were going straight from rehearsal to the interview at 1630hrs (GMT) the same day.

I had questions ranging from the classic, ‘why do you want the job?’ right through to coronavirus emergency measures and also whether it’s acceptable to restrain a shoplifter using an Aikido wrist lock.

The more I played bad cop interviewer, the more stressed she seemed to become.

Finally, we left for the interview and parked up.

I had forgotten to prepare her for the, ‘what can you bring to the job?’ classic question.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back and she stormed off after making it quite clear I was making things worse.

She also highlighted that it was a shop that specialises in wooden children's toys and puzzles and didn’t require this level of anxiety.

It did. I had helped. She was ready.

My daughter claims she did not require my help, in fact it was more of a hindrance. Also the technique for restraining customers was never mentioned.

Two days later the call came through. It had been a highly competitive process, the best of the best had thrown their hat into the ring. However, the job was hers.

Starts next week. She also maintains that for the rest of her life she’s never going to let me know if she has any job interviews.

She’ll thank me when she’s older – 40 maybe.

We could sort out the M27 in a month

Recently a lorry spilled masses of diesel fuel onto the M3 motorway.

It was a 600 metre stretch and the result of the spill not only meant that the motorway northbound was shut but it required the entire spill area to be resurfaced.

What’s amazing is from a standing start with no planning or warning, they managed this task in under 24 hours. That’s getting the plant machinery, asphalt, white lines, staff, diggers, the list goes on and on. Yet they (whoever they are) managed this task with flying colours.

Let’s assume that if they had needed to, they could have done one kilometre in 24 hrs. With that as our baseline, why does it take well over a year to sort the M27?

This work is around 24 kilometres. Sure it’s both sides of the road and there’s a bit of central reservation work to do. Sure, some smart motorway signs need to be wired in.

You could do 365 kilometres in a year. Rather than sentencing the commuter to the harrowing 50mph average speed camera hell, spend some more money and get it done faster.

We have the skilled work force ready to go. The good thing is, if you have a disastrously potholed road where you live and it’s driving you round the bend the fastest way of getting the job done is to wait for your next diesel spill. It will be sorted by the weekend.