Perversely, pizza could make my children fitter | BBC Radio Solent's Alun Newman

I only noticed this last weekend. I didn’t have a huge amount in reserve.

I was trying to come up with ways to get my children to do some exercise. Maybe I should rephrase that – I was trying to think of ways to get my children to actually move their legs.

I often ‘force’ them to walk around our housing estate, commonly referred to as ‘the prison yard’ by my son.

However, that’s become routine and it’s not that far, it's easily less than a mile, so I decided to offer them an incentive: ‘Who fancies takeaway (insert leading brand) pizza tonight?’

Normal children would probably bite straight away at such an offer.

My children were not so easily tricked.

The first question was: “Are we actually going to get the real version or a sad dad spin-off version?”

This is fair, because I’ve got considerable ‘form’ here in the shape of a somewhat chequered past.

I once launched Sub-way-hey under the guise of ‘who wants to have Subway for lunch?’ only for everyone to realise that I’d created a dad version of the franchise in the kitchen with part-baked baguettes, slices of cucumber, ham, cheese, everything you’d find in the store.

I had spotted the idea on Facebook. It got mixed reviews, mainly saying it was just like making a filled roll.

I pointed out that’s what Subway does but somehow, it’s different in their outlet, apparently.

On another occasion I asked who would be up for getting Nando’s for Saturday night dinner?

This was met with great enthusiasm – who doesn’t like spicy chicken and crispy fries?

That was until they came downstairs and saw a poorly made sign on the door saying 'Welcome to Naan-do’s’.

I had bought the genuine seasoning mix. The rest was left in my fair hands.

Again, this was deemed as being nice but nothing like visiting a restaurant.

It was, for the record, £1m cheaper though.

The final hit brings me back to the origin of the story. I created Dad-inoes – build your own pizza, however, I did initially mislead with a question of: ‘Who wants takeaway pizza?’

In my defence, I used fresh yeast in the dough and I also allowed everyone to make their own.

It was good, but more like one you’d cook at school than something from the takeaway. Again, it got mixed reviews and some definite disappointment.

On the quiet, it never does taste quite the same and I’m not sure why. Hence the reason, when I shout ‘takeaway pizza?’ my clan wants the details.

I assure them that it’s the real deal this time, no imitations.

‘What’s the catch?’ my son wisely enquires.

Here’s the deal – I will pay for the pizza, but they must walk to get it.

When they are in town I will collect them.

For the record, it was freezing cold, dark, and 2.4 miles away and an estimated walk time of around 44 minutes if you amble, 34 if you crack-on SAS style.

To my shock and surprise, they agreed.

We flesh out the remains of the agreement and then they're off. Coats on and masks at the ready.

The plan went without a hitch. For me, it was a stunning success.

I’m not sure about the light at the end of the tunnel or the carrot to tempt the donkey.

What I do know is that pizza could be the solution for my children to have a healthier lifestyle.