Sausage-frying skills led to a life in SAS... | BBC Radio Solent's Alun Newman

Chuck them in white rolls with a gallon of tomato sauce and the family was bonding.

It tended to be either a spring or autumn outing for some reason. Probably to avoid crowds, traffic and wasps.

It was also a venture that could take a while.

You’d be surprised of the effect a bracing wind could have on an old frying pan.

It didn’t matter in those days. We were in no rush and when children are small they tend to get up about the same time adults finally go to bed. That way a breakfast idea is perfect as you’ve been up for hours already.

With this second wave of lockdown in full swing, the usual weekend routine in our home has been ruined.

With that in mind, I decided to relaunch the frying pan and spend some quality time with my son. He’ll love that. Even if he doesn't tell his face.

Originally, I thought we could do our trip for breakfast but I forgot that he’s phased out weekend mornings completely. They’re eradicated.

Instead, he works on the basis that the afternoon is the morning and bumps the whole day up by six hours. This means the universe is biased towards late night computer gaming.

I waited for the cave door to open about midday and slowly motivated the bear to come with me on this trip.

It’s trickier as they get older.

When younger, I used to be able to convince them that we could ‘get some pick’n’mix’ or they could ‘take a penknife and make arrows’. Sadly that’s lost its impact.

After gentle enthusiastic persuasion, we were in the car and even better THE PHONE WAS LEFT AT HOME.

Of course, at first there was shortness of breath. Panic attacks. Tears and a paramedic on standby.

Soon, however, we were on our way. The first big question was, how many sausages can two men eat?

We bought 12 (I love being a bloke).

I had some kit already in a bag. Sauces. Knife. Pan. Before long, we were parked at Calshot.

Sitting in a sheltered spot. Gazing at the Isle of Wight. Watching surfboarders and a group of women continue to chat even though they were swimming in freezing cold water.

I put it to my son, that I was a regular guy who could easily have been in the special forces in another life.

I come across institutionalised by work, but under the surface I’m a survivor. These are the sorts of chats you can have cooking on a beach.

The sausages were about done and just before my boy dived in, I stopped him.

‘Your mum made me bring a meat thermometer. Just to be on the safe side.’

They were punching over 80 Celsius. We were safe.

He laughed and ridiculed me for the next 10 minutes.

Through the laughter he alleged no special forces ‘oppo’ carried a meat thermometer and I was in fact, a grey-haired radio presenter worried his son was spending too much time on screens and was grabbing at ideas from the past in a desperate attempt to be a good parent.

I was furious.

How dare he see straight through my parenting! He’s not even 20.

Where on earth did he get these skills?

YouTube I expect.

Right lads, time for a quick nappuccino

I have great news. In a recent report, the United States military has highlighted the importance of what it calls ‘aggressive napping’.

The report says that if you want to be alert; if you want to be ready to make good, powerful decisions; if you want to be ready for battle, then you need to prioritise the ‘nap’.

This is no joke. They concluded that over-tired soldiers make mistakes.

They looked at a mass of research to reach this conclusion such as the last FM 7-22 Holistic Health and Fitness manual, a rebranding of the army’s physical fitness training field manual.

That isn't the high point. It also concluded that if you have a strong shot of coffee before your nap, sleep for 20 minutes and no more, then that is optimal and you’re ready to go.

This however, is not the best bit. The best bit is its name. It’s been called ‘The Nappuccino!’ Yeah. Sir, yes sir. Get down and give me 20!

You can always rely on the Americans to rebrand anything into the next stratosphere of cool. In this country, we might say ‘why don’t you nod off?’. Perhaps our military might go for ‘get your head down for a bit’ or ‘lads, get some shut eye’.

We’d never have gone for the ‘nappuccino’. Let alone, it’s time for some ‘Aggressive Napping’.

The next time you see your other half’s head bouncing backwards and forwards while they're watching Place in the Sun, remember after that, he’ll be ready for battle. Or dinner. Or bed. Or they’ll claim they weren't asleep.