Signs of a female mid-life crisis? She gets rid of her husband | Rick Jackson
I have been enjoying my midlife crisis immensely in the past few weeks, scaring seagulls and golfers on Stokes Bay Road as my exhaust pops and crackles into life.
Buying a hot hatch – a Hyundai i30N – is one way to have a midlife crisis.
But what do other people do apart from wear their baseball caps back to front or pull their jeans down low enough to reveal their pants?
I asked the question on my Wave breakfast show and in particular I wondered if women have midlife crises
and if they do, what do they do?
Men buy fast cars but am I wrong in suggesting women get Botox and fillers which make their lips look like they’ve been stung by a wasp and have gone into anaphylactic shock?
Why do women think this look is attractive?
Enough foundation make-up to re-lay the M27; mascara so thick it’s akin to a black hole, and fake eye lashes that create typhoons when they blink.
No is the answer, most don’t – well those that called into me anyway.
The first caller, in her 50s, had just got her first tattoos. Four in total.
Another woman called to reveal she’s getting her nose pierced. A diamond stud but she also fancied a ring!
Another lady told us how she didn’t get something for her mid-life crisis, she got rid of something – her husband!
She had got to 50 and had a long think. Do I want to spend the rest of my life living with this person?
With the kids now young adults and independent, she kicked her husband out!
She said they were bored with each other, were going through the motions and were unhappy when together and much happier when they did things apart. That’s a big, brave midlife crisis!
I’m happy just to press the ‘N’ button on my car (regular readers will remember that it stands for Nurburgring, the German grand prix circuit on which the engine was tuned), put a smile on my face and then go back to being a sensible family man as soon as I get home.
So what if the ride is firm, meaning my man boobs jiggle up and down, and I’m now on first name terms with the attendant at the petrol station, I absolutely love it!
WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT? I DON’T ‘GET ADELE AND SHEERAN
Controversial I know, but I just don’t like Adele’s music. I really do not see what all the fuss is about.
The same old miserable stuff, boy doesn’t she ever have any fun? It’s the same with Ed Sheeran, I don’t get him either. Now you may think it’s because I’m a middle-aged man who likes to moan?
But it’s because she’s nothing new, nor is Ed. Just like ELO and Oasis copied The Beatles. I play their new songs because the music isn’t all about me and my tastes and I know how popular they are, but I do turn the volume down when ‘Adull’ appears on the playlist.
Bizarrely I like Harry Styles, Dua Lipa and Justin Bieber. Not ready for the scrap heap just yet!
CHANGING MANAGERS LIKE SOCKS WILL NOT GUARANTEE SUCCESS
Maybe Watford have got it right, seemingly changing their manager every few months.
Mind you, many people reckon that sticking with the same manager is the key to success, but is it?
Look at Manchester United for instance.
There is no doubt the great Sir Alex Ferguson was one of the best managers of all time.
But, like one of his predecessors Sir Matt Busby, his reputation cast a long shadow. Since Sir Alex retired three managers have been sacked and the current one is floundering.
Big clubs need to be more like Real Madrid and Barcelona. Constant managerial changes with the same level of success. That is true greatness.
A message from the editor, Mark Waldron.
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