Is it just me or do posh restaurants stress you out?
Now, I really enjoy meeting friends and eating out but I’m definitely more of a pub grub kind of girl than fine dining.
This was confirmed recently when a friend who I hadn’t seen for ages suggested meeting up at a restaurant neither of us had been to before.
First of all, there’s something a bit strange about having your chair pulled out for you.
It’s nice, but I can’t help having a moment of doubt when I think the waiter is going to whip it away just as my bottom hits the seat pad.
Next comes the wine ‘theatre’.
It's that funny little ritual most of us have experienced where you are given a wine list.
Then you are desperately searching out the prices wondering whether you can order the most inexpensive on on there, or perhaps better to go one up on the cost scale so you won’t look like a cheapskate.
Once the wine arrives, I’m poured a tiny little sip in the bottom of the glass and asked by the waiter if I approve.
Inside I’m thinking ‘it tastes like wine’ but I find myself saying ‘oh yes, a lovely undertone of summer fruits’.
I read the description on the menu.
We order our food, constantly being ‘upsold’ by the waiting staff.
‘Would madam like truffle oil with that?’
‘No, madam doesn’t want to re-mortgage her house to taste a mushroom’.
When I’d settled on pasta the next challenge was the Parmesan dance.
The waiter comes over again with an oversized grater and block of fresh cheese as I lean back in my chair to await the grating.
Now, I’m very fond of my cheese – can’t get enough of the stuff – and so it’s difficult to say ‘stop’ in normal circumstances.
However, in the posh restaurant scenario I find myself being super polite saying ‘that’s lovely, thank you’,
All the time inside I’m screaming ‘just leave me the entire block!’
I know I’m incredibly fortunate to have the odd treat like this – and who doesn't like a treat every now and then.
But when the bill arrives, I can’t help calculating how many trips I could have had to the chippy for the same amount.