I regret walking out on my son years ago | Agony Aunt

Fiona helps a woman who hasn't seen her son for years. Picture: Alamy/PA.Fiona helps a woman who hasn't seen her son for years. Picture: Alamy/PA.
Fiona helps a woman who hasn't seen her son for years. Picture: Alamy/PA.
Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.

Question: Three years ago, I left my partner of 30 years for the man I’d been having an affair with, and we are still together. Although I wanted him to come with me, my son of 12 decided to stay with his father.

Leaving my son was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I still wake up feeling guilty about it. If I had known the fallout, I’m not sure I would have gone through with it.

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I love my current partner but cannot feel fully happy. I’m confused, and sometimes wonder if that confusion means I want my old life back. I wish I knew how to move forward.

Answer: If both you and your ex were unhappy together though, your son might feel a whole lot better. It is surely up to you, therefore, to make the very best of the life you have chosen.

Moving forward might be happening in small steps, but it’s the only way. It doesn’t sound like going back is an option, even if you wanted to.

So, take a deep breath and put your best foot forward – you’ll get there!


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Question: I lost my mum through coronavirus and it’s been very hard, because I was very close to her. I’ve been feeling very low, depressed, anxious, even suicidal at times, as I have now nobody to talk to about how I’m feeling.

On top of that, my health isn’t good.

Next month it will be her birthday and a year since she died. I know it is going to be very hard. I know you can’t do anything, but I just wanted to write to someone.

Answer: I am so, so sorry to hear you’ve had to cope with your mother’s death on your own. This has been a devastating time for so many people, with an enormous impact on their mental health.

You really need someone to talk to, and if or when you feel at the end of your tether, please call the Samaritans on 116 123. They are always there to help, at any time, day or night.

Amongst the other organisations that have stepped up to help people is the Marie Curie charity (mariecurie.org.uk), which organised a national day of remembrance recently.

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