It's the only PR stunt for which I might - just - back Boris | Zella Compton

But then, I wonder if I have?

Given that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was so keen to distance himself from the past nine years of Conservative rule, given that he was so busy pledging money here, there and everywhere, and given that he’s a total narcissist, maybe it won’t be as bad as many doomsday sayers are saying.

Perhaps he’ll be so keen to hold on to his bubble of popularity he’ll find the backbone to stand up to the far right of his party and work towards the fairer society for all those he has managed to brilliantly insult over the course of his lying, cheating career?

What makes me laugh – a lot – is how Alexander Boris de Pfeffel’s father is being rolled out everywhere to say nice things about his son, something Boris can’t do in return as we still don’t have any idea how many children he has, or where indeed they are?

Is that too hard a question to ask of our PM? It’s a fairly standard one in most conversations with people you meet the first time – even if it’s not the most scintillating chit-chat. Can you imagine, by the way, taking your father to work, or sending him out to represent you? Surely that’s a recipe for disaster in itself.

But now the election is over and we can move along our next painfully fascinating path. Let’s hope we don’t have to hear another word from the non-relevant, non-elected Nigel Farage whom so many media outlets keep rolling out to spout forth on why he’s relevant even when he is the only one who thinks that he is. Enough with the Nigel nonsense, it’s time that he was done.

I don’t consider myself a loser in this election, but I do find it hard to take that for my entire voting career, my vote has never actually counted as my candidates have never been first past the post.

But if Boris was to turn his attention-grabbing, three-phase rhetoric, the alliterated words, the almost repeats, to looking at that, then maybe he’d have my support, for that at least.

A slow-boil which finally and scarily hit nail on the head

I was sad to see the end of the amazing series Silicon Valley. It’s finally ended after six seasons following a group of techno whizzkids with cool ideas about compression and a decentralised internet.

It’s been one of those slow-boil shows, is more than a bit odd, but pretty much delivers episode after episode with a wry mix of humour and pathos plus some good insight into the whys and wherefores of technology advancement.

Here’s a big spoiler. The ending blew me away with its predictions about artificial intelligence and security – suddenly all those old sci-fi movies seem absolutely believable when looked at through a Silicon Valley lens. ‘Beware what the future holds’ was never so pertinent.

A festive tradition which I completely forgot this year

You know you’re getting older when you forget to buy advent calendars for your children.

So what if they’re in their later teens and all work (full and part-time) and can buy their own? It’s the tradition that counts... and this one got away this December.

I loved my original 1970s calendar with its sparkling nativity scenes and glitter-encrusted exterior which we reused every year. Now the chocolate in calendars is hardly worth the wait, being similar to the dog treats we bought in the ’80s and dared each other to eat.

I hope you get better chocolate than that on your Christmas Day, and that you have a lovely time whatever you get up too.