Make sure you tell your neighbours the naked truth | Rick Jackson

Just a few short days ago we were all trying desperately to cool down, as we were gripped by the heatwave we had longed for after the recent rain – the rain we are now all moaning about!
Now there's self-confidence for you... Picture: ShutterstockNow there's self-confidence for you... Picture: Shutterstock
Now there's self-confidence for you... Picture: Shutterstock

We have managed to buy some fans from the local supermarket to at least move the very warm air around the kids’ rooms and the paddling pool is out and in constant use.

But did you know it is not illegal to be naked in your own back garden?

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Now this was something I only found out about on the breakfast show this week.

Yes, as long as you do not cause an offence you can strip off and go as nature intended. But that is the golden rule, make sure you do not cause an offence.

The rules also suggest that if you do wish to sunbathe naked, it is would be good practise to inform your neighbours first so as not to turn them into gibbering wrecks!

Surely what could be worse than looking out of your window and noticing your neighbours in all their glory. I mean, you’d dare not look out of your back bedroom windows would you?

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What is strange though is that you are totally free to get naked on a designated area of beach whether it causes offence or not.

There is a section of beach along Stokes Bay which is designated for naturists. It’s right at the far end of Fort Gilkicker, opposite the golf course if you’re interested.

I had the shock of my life one day when out for a run and I spotted ‘Mr Mahogany’ for the first time.

Honestly, I have never seen such a perfectly natural all-over tan.

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What was also amusing was his self-confidence as he stood there, proudly looking out to sea with his hands on his hips.

All he had was an umbrella on the beach and a bicycle resting against the sea wall.

I just hoped he had something to put on when he cycled home.

So nudity in your own garden is fine as long as you let your neighbours know.

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You just hope they won’t have friends round looking out of their windows for a good old laugh!

IT’S ALL A QUESTION OF BALANCE… WILL I EVER STAND ON MY BOARD?

At last the weather is perfect to have another attempt at paddleboarding. I made the investment in one last year but never got the hang of it.

This year the weather had been so naff the board remained firmly in its bag in the shed.

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But this week it has been out on the open sea... and still I cannot stand up!

On my drive to work I see paddleboarders out on flat-calm seas at 5am enjoying the water to themselves.

I look on jealously, knowing I’ll be making a fool of myself again; trying to balance, then falling off again and again...

Maybe I’m just too big to ‘SUP’. Maybe the only water-borne thing I can stand up on is the Isle of Wight ferry.

First World problems, eh?

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I TEST TWICE-WEEKLY AND AM JABBED UP; NOW I WANT MY LIFE BACK

Freedom Day has come and gone and our life hasn’t changed that much.

I didn’t queue up outside a nightclub at 00.01 on Monday morning and I still have my mask at the ready.

Going mask-free in the supermarket earlier this week felt very wrong.

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I test twice a week and have been fully vaccinated, so for me life has to get back to normal now.

What more can we do that won’t affect our civil liberties and the economy?

I’m happy to protect others with a mask but as Covid isn’t going to go away we have to live with it. I don’t want to get it but I’ve done everything to protect myself.

Now I just want to get cracking with life again.

A message from the editor, Mark Waldron.

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