My unhelpful family takes ​​​​​​​me for granted | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt Fiona Caine answers your questions.
Fiona advises a woman who is exhausted and her family does not help her.Fiona advises a woman who is exhausted and her family does not help her.
Fiona advises a woman who is exhausted and her family does not help her.

Question: I am a busy, overworked and increasingly angry housewife. I’m the only person in the family who has been holding down a job during the past nine months while the rest of family does nothing to help.

We have three teenage children who seem totally self-absorbed. They seem to think food, clean clothes and a warm place to sleep are acts of modern magic that simply appear for their benefit. I blame my husband for this as he seems quite content for me to provide all of this.

How do I get their attention, and get them motivated?

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Answer: If they’ve always been allowed to get away without helping, I think you are going to have to be quite assertive to get them to change their ways. I suggest you start with your husband and tell him how you are feeling.

Then, arrange a family talk and explain to your teenagers how they are making you feel. Suggest that they should all take responsibility for a fair share of work around the house.

SHOULD I CONTACT MY EX?

Question: Last week I bumped into an old boyfriend who I’ve not seen since I dumped him six years ago. I felt really embarrassed; I was awful and dumped him publicly in front of his mates. All I could think of was how badly I’d treated him, so I left in a hurry.

The silly thing is, I’ve not been able to forget about our meeting and wonder if this means I’m still attracted to him. I’m married now and until this meeting I’ve not questioned my love for my husband. Should I try and meet my old boyfriend and apologise?

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Answer: In an ideal world it would be nice to apologise to anyone we’ve hurt in the past, but I’m not sure this is practical or how it would be understood.He seems to have moved on quite happily and perhaps you should do the same.

Re-establishing contact with this man now you’re married carries some risk, especially if you think there may still be some attraction there. If you do meet up again, be polite, but please don’t read too much into this.