‘We walk in like hyenas circling before making the kill’ : Alun Newman

Alun Newman and Lou Hannan
Alun Newman and Lou Hannan
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BBC Radio Solent show what they're made of in food challenge

Recently my co-host Lou, the producer and myself decided to visit an all-you-can-eat global food experience.

I am normally a sensible eater, however, when this appeared in the diary I found myself building up for the meal in advance.

I started discussing potential food consumption strategies, I listened intently as others explained in detail how they'd take on this challenge. It was as if a gauntlet had been thrown down to the bravest knight in the village.

The restaurant doesn't even use the phrase ‘all-you-can-eat’, it is simply called Global Buffet. My brain is adding All You Can Eat, and for some reason it keeps saying it. 

We walk in like hyenas circling before making the kill. I find myself telling my colleagues to think carefully about carbohydrates because they can fill you up fast. We launch our attack using plates divided into four segments, providing adequate separation for different countries. India, Italy, China and America make an early appearance and then, in my second wave, I’m eating a full English breakfast and macaroni cheese. We hardly talk – eating slowly is the nemesis of the inner pig. On run three I’ve gone for more macaroni cheese and for some reason, fish fingers.  

The team is starting to wobble but the chocolate fountain calls, followed by cheesecake, ice-cream, profiteroles and dipped white chocolate strawberries. 

As we leave we all take a mint from the counter, we don’t need it, but it feels like the right thing to do. We walk back to work talking about having a nap and not eating again for the rest of our lives.