Why would 26 millionaires want to live in Gosport? – Zella Compton

Fort Gilkicker, Gosport, is back on the market
Fort Gilkicker, Gosport, is back on the market

Fort Gilkicker is up for sale again in Gosport. I haven't bothered to look at the price tag as I know full well I can't afford it. Having watched so many property developers stumble and fall with the project, there's no way my meagre funds will stretch.

Like many who use the area for walking their dog I am quite glad to see another project fail.

Yep, that sounds like NIMBY-ism, and you're right. I like its wild nature, the view of the Solent without dispute about who can stand where on the side of the Fort, and the general peace and quiet.

The only vehicles you'll come across are the council emptying out the bins, and that happens very infrequently (that's not a dig at the council, that's a reflection of the pleasant, quiet nature of the area).

The latest developer appears to have lost the way with Historic England.

At least, that's what The News quoted him as saying.

It’s something to do with the Malaysian investors pulling out as it's all too much of a bother for too little return.

It’s a different story to what I’d heard from other dog walkers about damp and the sea crashing underneath and weak foundations.

And, let’s be honest, losing investors is far less interesting from the rumour that the whole fort had to be filled with concrete.

Me? I think the real reason is that to make a go of the fort, the developers would need to find 26 millionaires willing to buy a place in Gosport.

Seriously, if you've got that money, why would you choose here?

No offence to where I live, but we're not exactly the most energetic, hip town on the south coast are we?

The High Street is at an all time low despite my best efforts to keep it alive.

Do millionaires need to shop in charity shops? Or at cheap-as-chips fashion outlets? Or stare into empty retail units? I think not.

Our nightlife isn’t the most glamorous. While we’ve got some decent pubs, we’re hardly cosmopolitan.

But while most residents rather like it, I’m entirely unconvinced that 26 well-to-do people will be so enamoured.

At least searching for Wi-fi helps me burn some calories

I am 15 minutes into my cunning plan not to renew Microsoft Office and to work for free online – and I’m already doubting my decision.

The internet is a great place but it’s turned out my connection is as dodgy as the people who turn up on doorsteps pretending to be from utility companies.

On the plus side, as I wander around my house thinking ‘ha ha, I’ve just saved myself a fiver or so a month’, I can burn calories while looking for a reliable strength Wi-fi connection to carry on typing.

On the downside, by the time I’ve invested in enough Wi-fi boosters to allow me to connect in every room, I’ll probably have spent the equivalent of the licence fee anyway.

Big screen explosions for only a fiver? Bring it on! 

I feel I might be coming very late to this party, but guess what I’ve just discovered?

Cinema tickets at Vue Gunwharf are only £4.99 per person. How this has passed me by, I don’t know. But taking the children to the movies has become affordable again, after all, there is nothing better than a big screen with surround sound. 

I love the experience as even the most rubbish film can be awesome. Jurassic World, for example.

I went to see it last week and it was a pile of drivel, but I adored every moment. Big screen explosions are so much better than on the TV, especially when volcanoes are involved.

I still can’t afford popcorn or pick-n-mix, but, who cares?