Survivor stabbed in the leg by ‘manipulative’ ex-partner is fighting her way back to health after domestic abuse - and encourages other victims to ‘reach out’ for support

The woman, who lives in the Bridgemary area, was attacked by her ex-partner David Cowlishaw after he grabbed a knife and threatened her in front of her child.

The 31-year-old man then stabbed the victim in the side of her left leg with the knife, leaving her with an injury which requires ongoing specialist treatment.

Cowlishaw was jailed earlier this month after he admitted causing grievous bodily harm without intent and criminal damage.

As she recovers from her ordeal, Cowlishaw’s victim, a woman in her 30s who wishes to remain anonymous, says she wants to share her story to raise more awareness for domestic abuse.

The woman, who was in a relationship with Cowlishaw for a couple of years, said the man had been ‘manipulative’ but not physically violent until this point - so this escalation was a ‘surprise’.

She said: ‘When you’re in that scenario you don’t realise the controlling behaviours.’

Cowlishaw became violent towards the woman on the afternoon of Sunday, September 26, when he smashed her front door after she asked him to leave her property.

She said: ‘Glass went everywhere, he was threatening to kill.

‘This escalated with him using a knife pinning me against a wall.

‘I had cuts all over my hands.

‘I curled up and he stabbed me in the leg - it was the only part he could get to.

‘I dialled 999 - I just left it on my side just so they could hear what was going on, I was saying ‘why have you stabbed me’.’

The woman’s injury to her upper left thigh area meant that she had to have an operation and spent a week in hospital recovering - and she could be facing ‘ongoing permanent nerve damage’ due to her injury.

She said: ‘I’ve been on sick pay ever since. It’s been difficult, I’m still recovering. It’s still ongoing.’

The psychological fallout of the attack also severely affected the woman, who said that at first ‘every day living was a struggle’.

She said: ‘I was constantly locking my doors. I had a team around to fix the doors, the door alarms, personal alarms.

‘It’s one of those worrying things, I’m constantly looking. It was still in the back of your head - what if?’

However, with support, the woman is on the road to recovery - and wants her story to inspire other domestic violence victims to reach out for help.

She said: ‘Women’s Aid have been amazing. They’ve been amazing, constant messages to see how I’m getting on, to see if there’s any extra support I need.

‘The domestic violence team have been fantastic, I couldn’t have faulted them. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today.’

She says that her message is ‘just speak out’, and added: ‘I just want to be that person that says ‘it’s okay to talk’ and to let people know that there is support out there.

‘Reach out. There are people out there and there are loads of sources but I wasn’t even aware of it until I got to this stage. I didn’t even know of Clare’s Law.’

Clare’s Law, also called the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, enables members of the public to make enquiries about an individual who they are in a relationship with - or who is in a relationship with someone they know - if there is concern that the individual may be violent towards their partner.

The woman added: ‘A lot of the big social medias that people use have ways to speak.

‘There’s apps, ways to text.’

Facebook has shortcuts providing information for people experiencing abuse, or to help someone else experiencing abuse.

Visit gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help for advice and help.

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Cowlishaw has been jailed for three years - but his victim does not think justice has been served.

The news of his sentence ‘hasn’t really sunk in’ for the woman, who added: ‘With good behaviour he’ll be out in 18 months, and he’s done six months in remand so he could be out next year.

‘It’s not going to be the full three years. It’s quite disgusting.’

Campaigners and charities supporting domestic abuse victims agree that such short sentences are a failing of the justice system.

Domestic abuse campaigner Kirsty Mellor, councillor for Charles Dickens ward, believes that domestic abusers need ‘more punitive sentences’.

She added: ‘For years and years campaigners and activists around violence against women and girls have highlighted the shocking conviction rate for perpetrators, but are ignored and are left with feelings of injustice.’

Kirsty said that it is ‘just not acceptable’ to make victims go through the gruelling process of reporting abuse or sexual violence to hear that their abusers will only face short sentences.

She said: ‘It feels like we’ve had a lot of progress but there’s been a step back in the justice system

‘The majority of police officers are on board in terms of attending domestic abuse incidents but over the last couple of years we’ve been hearing some taking the attitude of ‘oh, it’s her again’.

‘That’s just not on. Domestic abuse is really complex, it’s not one size fits all.

‘The services we’ve got in the city are fantastic - Stop Domestic Abuse and Aurora New Dawn - but the failing is the justice system.’

Claire Lambon is CEO of Stop Domestic Abuse, which supports victims across the Portsmouth area.

She said: ‘Too few victims of domestic abuse are seeing their cases go to court.

‘For those that do, the experience is long and difficult, and this has a serious impact on their confidence in the criminal justice system.’

Claire believes that insufficient sentences are ‘effectively decriminalising domestic abuse’.

She added: ‘The impact of domestic abuse is long lasting and exceeds any sentence an abuser receives.

‘Survivors of domestic abuse live in fear even after they are safe from the abuser.

‘The psychological effects can be far-reaching: survivors indicate that they have experienced some type of negative emotional effect including anger, fear, becoming less trusting, suffering from lowered self-esteem, depression, anxiety, shame and guilt.

‘Improving the prosecution of domestic abuse cases must be a priority not just for the CPS but for the whole criminal justice system.’

Shonagh Dillon, CEO of Aurora New Dawn, said that the organisation ‘absolutely’ agrees with the victim, and that the sentence falls short of what she should expect.

Shonagh added: ‘The Femicide census evidences that knives are by far the most frequent method of men killing women, and within that context we know that one woman is murdered on average every four days by a current or former partner, it is therefore imperative that the judiciary use the full weight of the law to bring justice to victims.

‘It stands to reason that whilst perpetrators continue to be afforded lenient sentences victims continue to lose trust in the criminal justice system.’

A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron

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