Southsea bar to undertake LGBTQ+ training after trans woman 'humiliated' by heated talk about toilet access

Bella Peters, a 25-year-old from Purbrook, was out with friends when the group decided to visit Drift Bar, at around 11pm on Friday, January 28.

But the night out turned sour after Bella presented her ID to the bar’s door staff – who then brought up an earlier customer complaint about a trans patron using their preferred toilet facilities.

Drift’s policy is for trans customers to use their preferred bathroom – but Bella says the conversation left her feeling barred from the women’s toilets, and she was ‘humiliated’ over the personal conversation near a large crowd waiting to enter the venue.

The 25-year-old said: ‘I have been to Drift so many times before and I have never had a problem before, ever.

‘They scanned my friend’s ID, and then they scanned my ID and sort of pulled me to the side a little bit and said, “we need to talk to you”.

‘They said, “we’ve already had complaints about someone”.

‘Obviously I was humiliated. This was in front of a massive queue of people. I said, “this is awkward because now everyone knows”. Looking at me, no one would know.

‘I said, “not being funny the only people who would know is you – it’s not particularly obvious”.

‘I could get attacked or assaulted if I go in the men’s toilets.

‘No one has ever batted an eyelid. I’ve never had a girl come up to me and say “you’re making me feel uncomfortable”.

‘I got in a taxi and I was trying not to cry – I felt completely humiliated.’

Earlier in the night a group of customers told bar staff that they felt ‘uneasy and intimidated’ by a trans woman using the women’s toilets.

Bar manager Sam Whitmore said staff spoke to both parties to make clear the bar’s policy on trans customers’ preferences and the concerns were resolved amicably.

But the conversation to warn Bella about the previous complaint became ‘heated quite quickly’, according to the manager.

He said: ‘Unfortunately... the situation became very emotional and heated quite quickly without (staff) being able to fully explain why she had been approached. This subject is not something we have usually needed to address.

‘We are deeply saddened by this event and it was approached with the best of intentions.’

Drift Southsea remains ‘an inclusive space’, according to the manager.

He added: ‘We understand the pressure and hardships faced daily by our trans community and it is their right to use the facilities in which they feel most comfortable. Our main concern is the safety of our LGBTQ+ customers, we wanted to insure that this lady was aware of the earlier incident and that the staff were here to support her should she face any issues that evening.

‘Unfortunately, this was lost in translation and left a sour note with our customers, with whom we have the utmost respect for.’

Drift is now working with Portsmouth Pride to schedule training sessions for all staff members to ensure the upsetting episode is not repeated.

Bella says the incident highlights the issues trans people face as they present their gender preference while their identification details can take years to change.

She said: ‘I have been on hormones for over a year.

‘It takes like two years to change your driver’s licence. You have to wait a certain amount of time before you can change it – it’s the biggest faff in my life.’

‘Now I don’t want to go out until I have my ID changed.’

A spokesman for LGBTQ+ rights group Stonewall said: ‘The reality is that trans people can and have been using the toilets and facilities that match their gender for decades without issue. The idea that anyone should have to show ID to use the toilet is simply dehumanising. We hope the bar involved continues its commitment to ensuring that their venue is inclusive for all lesbian, gay, bi and trans people.’

The Equality Act 2010 prohibits discrimination against trans people in the provision of separate and single-sex services.

A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron

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