STEVE POWER: Good morning doctor, can I fidget please?

Research has shown that fidgeting can reduce the unhealthy effects of sitting for long periods and may even help you live longer. Has anyone else seen the irony in this? The most likely place you are going to start fidgeting is the doctor's waiting room, because you've been sitting around waiting for a long time. So in order to start fidgeting and thus live longer, you'll have to be very sick first!

The most likely place you are going to start fidgeting is the doctors waiting room.

n New research has found that people who exercise without fitness trackers shed more pounds than those who have them. This confirms what I’ve always thought, that people that use them aren’t glowing with health, they’re just glowing with smugness from being able to afford them!

n Is anyone else like me and can’t read or hear the term ‛Amazon Prime’ without thinking it sounds more like a ‛Game of Thrones‛ character than a broadcasting service? It can’t just be me surely?

n I was just thinking how the term ‘kitchen-diner’ sounds really nice when you read it in the blurb for a house that you might be buying. It sounds cool and modern. Whereas if you think about it, what it basically means is two rooms with a wall missing doesn’t it?

n I saw a product in the supermarket the other day that made me think ‛what is the point?’ It was an alcoholic drink designed to keep in the freezer called ‛Elderflower and Lime Cider Sorbet’.

I mean seriously, if you’re going to start making alcoholic cider sorbets, you might as well just lower the age limit for drinking alcohol to five!

What next? Vodka Nesquick?