'I got to the point where I didn't care any more': Portsmouth's boxing golden girl Ebonie Jones on her fight against mental illness and batting back from the brink

Ebonie Jones has been touted for boxing greatness for as long as she can remember, a poster girl for the noble art whose prodigious talent saw her catapulted from the back pages to headline-grabbing front page news.

A decorated amateur career with a burgeoning list of national, British and European titles, marked the Drayton starlet out as one of the big hopes to make a mark at the 2020 Tokyo Games.

But three years ago those dreams fell apart, as the former Charter Academy student had to admit defeat to the debilitating effects of starving herself to make a weight category her body had long outgrown.

It was to be the catalyst for a series of events which was to see Jones’ life spiral out of control.

‘I was so gutted I couldn’t fit into the weight category they wanted, so for me it felt like it was over,’ the former Heart of Portsmouth boxer said of what unfolded.

‘I was at the very top and expected to go to the Olympics - then it was all over and I wasn’t boxing at all. My purpose was gone.

‘I didn’t fit into the weight category, so, as cut-throat as it is, I wasn’t of use anymore to GB.

‘It was just becoming unhealthy for me, though.

‘I made the weight once for the World Championships and I had to starve myself to do it.

‘When I weighed in the World Championships I couldn’t even walk up the stairs afterwards, but I still managed to win two fights out there and got robbed against an Indian boxer in India.

‘I was sad I lost, but I was happy as well - because it meant I could eat.

‘I did it, though, because I wanted to go to the Olympics - and that was what was expected of me since I was young.

‘But when I couldn't make the weight, I left GB. I don’t blame them for that because I was lying to them saying I could make the weight, but I was also lying to myself.

‘They said if I went to 51kg I could go to the Olympic qualifiers, so I was convincing myself I could do it. Then it all came crashing down.’

With her hopes and aspirations shattered depression was to take its dark and creeping grip on Jones, as she lost her way while protecting us all in her job with the army where she also trained.

Unable to escape the sights and sounds of what she’d believed was her destiny, the 23-year-old walked away from the sport which has been her life.

‘Whenever I came back to Portsmouth I was always being asked about the Olympics,’ Jones said. ‘I felt embarrassed and ashamed.

‘I just felt like a failure. I was at the top and then I felt like a failure, it was awful.

‘I went to Belize with the army and we were supposed to watch the Tyson Fury fight. I couldn’t even face watching it, it was devastating thinking I was never going to box again.

‘I just became really depressed.

‘Boxing gave me my purpose and something to aim for. Boxing was my life and it was just so hard not to have it.

‘That’s when my weight went up. I was having fun, but thinking “what am I doing with my life?”.

‘I had no purpose and I was a failure. I was drinking and went a bit over the top.

‘I went a bit off the rails, but even when I had a drink I would still feel guilty.

‘I’d never drunk before, I didn’t have a clue about anything really. All I’d do before was train and then go and sit in my room.

‘Boxing had gone now, though, and it felt like there was no point in anything anymore.’

It was in October 2019 that Jones’ life was to hit rock bottom, while in the grips of a volatile relationship.

With her life out of control, she succumbed to her despair with suicidal thoughts taking over.

It was to lead to stay in a Stafford hospital for mental illness - and a week which was to turn the gutsy fighter’s life around.

‘I was in a difficult relationship when all of this was going on, and that was another factor in why things happened as they did,’ Jones explained.

‘I was drinking and partying to fill the void of it all and not boxing.

‘It was around that time that I went to a mental hospital, where I stayed for a week.

‘I’d got to the point where I just didn’t care anymore.

‘It was then I realised I needed to try do turn things around.

‘I was there looking around me thinking “what am I doing here? How has it come to this?”.

‘It was a very weird place to be. It was horrible.

‘They were lovely people there, but I was thinking “I’m not crazy”.

‘It was horrible. They took everything off me and I was just in a room.

‘But it was good in a way because I was there and there was no possible way I could do anything. I just spent my time painting!

'There’s no shame in it, but I didn’t think I’d be the type of person to end up in a place like that.

‘That was when I hit my lowest. I was at absolute rock bottom and in a really bad place.'

Given early release from the army, Jones returned to her home city where she stayed on her nan’s sofa in Buckland.

But her mind was made up professional boxing was a route open to her, as the exposure to women in the sport exploded. And so it was to spectacularly prove.

Within months, promoters Boxxer had come knocking with a contract offer and TV exposure.

Incredibly just 12 months on from being in hospital, Jones had completed an awe-inspiring comeback story as she made her winning pro bow live on Sky Sports.

It’s a remarkable and heartwarming tale of resolve for a gritty battler who continues to do herself, family and city proud.

But for Jones the story doesn’t end here, as she aims to make herself a beacon of hope for those who’ve faced similar adversity.

‘I’ve had these lows but here I am now boxing on Sky,’ Jones said of fightback.

‘People are stopping me and saying “you’re that girl who boxed on the telly!”.

‘I have people saying to me “there’s a girl in Portsmouth who boxes called Ebonie”. Yes, that’s me!

‘I’d love to win a world title, make a career out of boxing and live comfortably.

‘But I’d also like to help people. I’d like to help people who’ve been in my situation and be there for them.

‘It’s brilliant to say I was where I was, and a year later I’m on Sky Sports looking to the future. It’s been some journey.

'I’ve been from the very top to the very bottom and come back again.'

A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron

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