Ex-Gosport keeper Nathan Ashmore: As a kid playing football, Portsmouth parents racially abused me - and it hasn't gone away

‘There was a trial game to get into Pompey, which saw us face an age-group team from the club,’ he told The News.

‘We were hammered six, seven or eight nil. You are taking good players and putting them up against us, lads trying desperately to reach that level.

‘While the opposition comfortably beat us – there were parents absolutely battering me, shouting racist comments.

‘I was aged nine or 10, I’m not sure exactly. I didn’t necessarily hear them, but my mum did and later told me.

‘She stood there next to them, hearing this awful, awful language. She said nothing, she couldn’t. She was more quiet back then.

‘We were just coming out of the 1990s. Racism wasn’t any worse then, it has always been bad, but things were more vocal. Parents could say whatever they wanted.

‘If a parent voiced it now they’d get criticised and wouldn’t be allowed to watch the game. They are still the same people, but keep it to themselves.

‘Do you know what, though? I was the only player from that team picked to join Pompey.’

The Boreham Wood goalkeeper’s unsettling experiences were not merely confined to a football environment.

As a pupil at St John’s Cathedral Catholic Primary School and then St Edmund’s Catholic School, Ashmore portrays formative years subjected to racism and bullying which, on occasions, necessitated defiantly taking a stand in weary response.

Now aged 30, the issues remain as prevalent as those endured by that youngster growing up in 1990s Portsmouth.

He has remained in the city he loves, a self-proclaimed ‘mush’ from Fratton, now residing in Drayton.

Released by Pompey at the age of 14, prised away from a talented team consisting of Joel Ward, Matt Ritchie, Joe Oastler and Joe Partington, Ashmore has carved out a highly-impressive non-league career.

Serving with distinction at the Hawks, Gosport, Ebbsfleet and now a Boreham Wood side qualifying for the National League play-offs, he totals three promotions so far.

Yet while his footballing pathway has advanced, progress dawdles in combating racism.

‘Growing up, I was the only black kid in most football teams. Even at Pompey, I was the sole black kid in my year group,’ he added.

‘It didn’t affect me, I was young and probably a little naive, but obviously my mum noticed. I have since learnt of the talk and abuse she took simply because I was the only one.

‘I’d get bullied all the time at school for that very reason. There were two black pupils at primary school, we stood out, and the words became normal for me. I was used to getting chased home from school.

‘Sometimes I tried to fight my way out, just getting people off my back and not trying to run away on every occasion.

‘As I got older. I kind of thought “I know I’m different”, but accepted it, it was not something to be afraid of. Those experiences can only make you stronger.

‘When we lived in a maisonette in Buckland, there was an instance when I returned to my bedroom after having a bath and discovered a sign left on my window.

‘It was racist and unpleasant. There was scaffolding outside as work was being done on the house, so somebody had climbed it, looked into my bedroom window and put the sign up.

‘I have been chased with a scaffolding pole before, been jumped by three or four people. A lot of people won’t have this happen to them – and they won’t have a clue how it feels.’

On Monday evening, a banner stating ‘White Lives Matter Burnley’ was flown over the Etihad Stadium during a Premier League match involving Manchester City and Burnley.

The Clarets swiftly condemned the actions, while, during his post-match interview on Sky Sports, captain Ben Mee declared himself ‘ashamed’ and ‘embarrassed’.

Ashmore had watched the first half of the encounter on television before turning off, unaware of the controversial pre-match moment which subsequently dominated the headlines.

Nonetheless, he can empathise with the Black Lives Matter message which he believes is generating awareness about a problem ingrained within society.

He said: ‘I saw a Tweet the other day from a black lad who plays for Sholing. He wrote: “Cor, I bet all the haters are hating right now”.

‘It was a couple of words, but a brilliant point. Everyone is talking about this issue.

‘People who don’t agree with it must be livid inside because they can't say anything at the moment as they’ll get criticised for it.

‘Of course all lives matter – but black lives matter as well. This is not a message about black v white, despite some people jumping on the bandwagon. It has nothing to do with it. It’s childish and petty to suggest it has.

‘Enough is enough, we should no longer have to accept this, we are standing together.

‘I’ve experienced racism my whole life, at school, on the football pitch, everywhere, so it’s great to see Black Lives Matter symbolise that.

‘I watched the first match back, Aston Villa’s game against Sheffield United, and no-one expected to see those players take the knee before the match.

‘However, what I’m now concerned about is people doing it for the sake of it. That’s entirely what you don’t want.

‘Fair enough for the first week of Premier League football’s return, brilliant, it has got people talking. But let’s not continue doing that.

‘That was a great stand, now let’s move onto the next stage, whatever that may be I don’t know.

‘When I saw it for the first time it was very powerful. It was beautiful, such great symbolisation, but what else can we now do to move together and be as one?’

In November 2018, Ashmore was present at Southampton Magistrates’ Court for the case of an Eastleigh supporter who had subjected him to racist abuse during a match.

Then with Ebbsfleet, he had incurred the wrath of Martin Lombardi, who was incensed at the goalkeeper’s attempts to waste time with his team leading 1-0 at the Silverlake Stadium. Such was the offensiveness of the outburst, several fans reported him.

Lombardi admitted one charge of using threatening words, behaviour or language to cause harassment, alarm or distress. Eastleigh responded by banning him.

On occasions, Ashmore has been prepared to take justice into his own hands upon hearing abuse at grounds.

That includes jumping over the hoardings to confront several Boreham Wood fans in November 2018 – the club he now represents.

He has since sought counselling to control his feelings when confronted by such emotional flashpoints – and believes it has benefited both his approach to racism and football performances.

Ashmore said: ‘I was very, very angry, but didn’t do anything about it. I was in a dark place, wasn’t motivated, wasn’t playing well, it just got too much for me.

‘I’d stay in bed for the whole day because I didn’t want to do anything – and that’s not me.

‘I didn't want to talk to anyone, I’d stay in a car for two hours and not do anything. I’d go out with people but sit there, not really talking. Everyone could see it and didn’t know what was going on.

‘Then I realised I needed help. Talking helps – and I saw a counsellor to get me through that bad stage. I would definitely recommend it to others.

‘I’m a very strong character, a mentally strong person, but even I struggled. I had to get it out of my system and reprogram myself to not let it affect me anymore.

‘I wasn’t suicidal, yet constantly down all the time, with no motivation. I definitely wasn’t playing well.

‘It was everything. Comments you hear in matches behind the goal, the stress of not getting paid on time at Ebbsfleet with the money problems there, it got too much and overwhelmed me.

‘In non-league football there aren’t as many fans, you can hear the voices and the individual comments.

‘I’ve been called a monkey, a gorilla, a black so-and-so, a golliwog. Apparently I also look like a banana. I’ve heard them all before when growing up – I still hear them now.

‘When I was younger, I’d try to laugh it off, but there’s only so much you can take.

‘However, when you rise to it once they won’t let you forget. As a footballer, you can't react, I learnt my lesson.

‘Racism has always been there and will always be there. It’s a matter of breaking it down and limiting it, but you will never stop it, not in a million years.

‘As horrible as it sounds, it is part of history and will never be forgotten. It will always be there, you cannot change that.

‘Racism will never, ever go away – there are too many different people in the world.’

A message from the Editor

Thank you for reading this story on portsmouth.co.uk. While I have your attention, I also have an important request to make of you.

With the coronavirus lockdown having a major impact on many of our advertisers - and consequently the revenue we receive - we are more reliant than ever on you taking out a digital subscription.

Subscribe to portsmouth.co.uk and enjoy unlimited access to local news and information online and on our app. With a digital subscription, you can read more than 5 articles, see fewer ads, enjoy faster load times, and get access to exclusive newsletters and content. Visit our Subscription page now to sign up.

Our journalism costs money and we rely on advertising, print and digital revenues to help to support them. By supporting us, we are able to support you in providing trusted, fact-checked content for this website.