Catherington Comedy Festival: Hal Cruttenden talks divorce in new show 'It's Best That You Hear it From Me' | interview

But it's all going to be fine.

Instead of getting the therapy he clearly needs, he's made a show about it: It’s Best You Hear it From Me.

He's lost enough weight to almost get his wedding ring off and, while he may be flying solo, he's far from alone; he's got his grown-up daughters, his dogs and his divorce lawyer.

However, this show isn’t just for those who’ve been through divorce and single people who need cheering up. It’s also for blissfully happy couples who can’t imagine that their marriage will fail, and that smug look will be wiped off their face.

Hal is a familiar face, with extensive TV credits, including Live at the Apollo, Have I Got News For You, Would I Lie To You and various shows with Celebrity in the title. His last touring show was 2018/19’s Chubster.

And he’s taking the new show on an extensive tour in the autumn, but before then you can get an early look at it at Catherington Comedy Festival later this month, when he’ll be previewing It’s Best… alongside new shows from Lucy Porter and Jo Caulfield.

When The Guide catches up with Hal, he’s in ebullient mood – or hysterical and about to have a break down. It’s hard to tell on the end of a phone line…

‘I always used to joke about the fact that I need to get a divorce if I want to have a new show,’ he laughs – Hal laughs a lot while we’re talking, ‘well, my wife's leaving me, I'm not leaving her.

‘Maybe I made that joke too many times, but the weird thing is that it's actually quite good for comedy. The more turmoil your life is in, the better it can be for comedy because you're finding the humour out of the darkest situations.

‘And also my life is changing – it's change that spurs so much comedy. So it is weird to be back being a single man at 52. When I was last single I'd just turned 30, I think, that’s when I met my wife.’

One to look for the silver-lining, he continues: ‘There are also lots of positives to it – well, this is an interesting adventure in life! Maybe I'm being really weird and I'm in denial,’ he chuckles, ‘but I'm actually feeling quite positive about the future.’

Hal describes the current domestic arrangement as being part of a ‘very cosy divorce.’ They still live together while going through the process of selling the house and unpicking two decades together.

‘We've just taken a long time because we've both got slightly chaotic lives. It's sort of a big enough house it's almost like being neighbours – we can sort of have our own lives.’

And he can already see how he’ll be able to milk this for material for years to come: ‘The next thing will be the proper living in your own house, so I think this theme will run in to the next show as well. I'll probably be carry on doing stuff about “isn't it funny how single I am” for most of my 50s because I'm terrible at dating and getting into relationships and things.

‘I'm far too picky while not being good-looking enough to be that picky...

‘I'm hoping to corner that market of the middle-aged single man now as a comic!’

Obviously loads of comics use their personal lives for material – how long did it take Hal to consider using his marriage breakdown?

Without hesitation, he says: ‘About five minutes after my wife said she's leaving me. Then I went: “Aah, my show title makes sense now!”

‘We thought up the show title before I was getting divorced, "It's Best You Hear it From Me". I was never that happy with it, but my agent was going: “It's something you said to someone on stage that really made me laugh. You often deliver barbed comments with, it's best you hear it from me,” even though I don't know when I said this.

‘So I got talked into this title, didn't like it, and then as soon as my wife said she was leaving me, I went: “My show title makes sense now!” I had this revelation, and she went,’ he affects a weary tone, ‘“Oh my god, I'm so pleased I'm leaving you”.’

‘I do have a whole thing in the show about why my agent persuaded me to do this title – did he know something was coming? Was he having an affair with her?’

He hastily clarifies that his agent – who is a regular butt of jokes in his sets – is happily married and they were not having an affair.

What does his soon-to-be-ex-wife make of the new show’s subject matter?

‘Anything I think could be at all dodgy I run past her.

‘The truth is, if I went on stage and slagged her off, the audience would go: “Oh, this guy is a mess, it's appalling and she's not here to defend herself.” And it wouldn't be fair to abuse your position.

‘That's the main thing with comedy, when you are bringing in family and friends you've got to make sure in the end that the joke is on you and your attitudes, because they're not there to represent themselves.

‘My daughters love being mentioned in my act, and I have some horrible jokes about them, but it's mainly about me being a bad father, so it's nothing really bad about them.

‘I will always run things past them first.

‘As a comic you've really got to go for people who deserve it. I'm horrible about Boris Johnson – he's done nothing personally to me, but he's done a lot to the country, so I think that's okay, and politicians and people in power are fair game.

‘Punch up – it's keeping it to the people that you think: “Sod it, I don't care about hurting them.”

It’s only when The Guide asks if Hal’s been dating again yet, that he becomes coy.

‘I, um, I'm on that verge of not being able to tell you the truth at the moment…,’ there’s a cackle. ‘I'm living in a house with my wife, I've not broached it with my children, and I thought, you know what, I'm going to keep very quiet about anything that's happening. I can't be too honest.

‘I can be pretty sure that my dating life is going to be chaotic, so I'm going to be doing lots of nudging and winking.’

He admits that he’s terrible with keeping things to himself while wrestling with whether to tell me something or not before adding: ‘‘Oh god... there's something I'm thinking about writing about, but I don't know if I can put it out there yet.

‘I've got to be very careful what I say – I really want to be nattering about my lovelife, but I can't!’

Then suddenly aware of how this could sound he adds: ‘I would like to point out, if my children are reading this somewhere online: nothing has happened!’

He compares the start of his career with where he is now, and how things have come full-circle.

‘When I started I was a desperate single man, and I used to do stuff about that, and now it's kind of funnier.

‘When in your late-20s/early-30s you're starting to panic about the future, well I was – I was very broody and I really wanted kids.

‘But when you've had kids, suddenly it's not as important whether you're single or married because you've already got your little family unit. I've got my daughters who've grown up – they're 20 and 21.

‘I've got the things I wanted in that way, so I think I'll be able to laugh more easily at my tragic romantic failures over the next few years.’

In recent weeks Hal has been busy previewing the show, with Catherington coming just before he heads to Edinburgh Fringe for a month.

‘I like to be very over-prepared,’ he says, ‘so the Catherington preview, my god it's going to be worth the money! It will be hitting top notch by then.’

Hal has performed at Catherington before, and has fond memories: ‘It was not a warm evening and everyone was wrapped up in blankets. It makes you just love Britain for that stoic attitude.

‘I love those outdoor summer gigs.

‘I did one in Penrith, Cumbria, last week. Frankie Boyle was headlining and Reginald D Hunter was on, Angela Barnes, it was a great bill and a quality crowd in the middle of nowhere! It's always fun to do those, I think there's a really nice atmosphere.

‘People seem to really make an investment when they've chosen to sit down in a chair in a field...’

Catherington Comedy Festival runs across five sessions from Friday, July 22 to Sunday, July 24. Other comics on the bill include Jen Brister, Ed Byrne, Reginald D Hunter, Darren Harriott, Lou Sanders , Jonathan Pie and more.

Tickets from £18 a session. Day, weekend and VIP tickets available. Go to comedyunderthestars.co.uk.