Restaurant review - Jurassic Grill in Whiteley: I ate among the dinosaurs at the themed restaurant in Hampshire

But more than Triassic or Cretaceous, the word Jurassic to most of us has a touch of hubris about it - it may be a great idea to use amber-preserved DNA to bring dinosaurs back to life… but there may be some consequences.

So it was with excitement but some trepidation that we made a trip to Jurassic Grill in Whiteley. Would this be a thrilling themed meal out, or would the idea get out of hand and prove terrifying rather than exhilarating? Would life find a way?

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Firstly, full disclosure - we went with a five-year-old and a three-year-old. Both were absolutely mad for it. From the moment we stepped into the restaurant - on a busy Sunday lunchtime; we hadn’t booked and were lucky to be able to secure a table for four as a walk-in - they were in seventh heaven. The restaurant also encourages kids to walk around the ‘jungle’ and look for the dinosaur eggs, while marvelling at the T-Rex models, giving them something to do. It knows its market and its market loves it.

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Pretty much every table had an under-eight on it, although I did notice several unused tables for two around the edge of one section. Perhaps it becomes a teenagers’ date-night haunt after dark, but I can’t imagine many people over 25 visiting for romance.

It would be traditional for a review now to be loaded up with as many puns as feasibly possible. The Dish Detective would like to claim we have too much class for that but the sad truth is that Jurassic Grill has beaten us at that game. Some are not puns, but the menu boasts ‘Meateorite’, ‘Raptor Rip’ and ‘Sabre Tooth’ burgers, ‘Palaeontologist Pancakes’ and ‘Roarsome cheesecakes and waffles’. Awful stuff, but no worse than generations of local paper sub-editors.

We went for a Blue Raptor burger (£13.15) - a 6oz burger with blue cheese, bacon and hot sauce in a blue bun - and an Apattysaurus (£11.25), a burger with cheese and red onion chutney. We also had some breaded mozzarella sticks (£3.85) and a side of coleslaw (£2.20).

The children both had Bronto Bangers ... two sausages with chunky chips and sweetcorn (£6.50 as are all the kids’ meals).

So what was it like? Well… it was…. alright. The burgers are perfectly serviceable, and the blue burger did indeed temporarily turn my tongue blue, as the waitress had promised, much to the delight of the children. The flavour of the burgers and the cheese was enough to have a bit of character without being overpowering, and the chips were decent. The mozzarella sticks were of a very uniform shape and unless the cook uses a set square are possibly not made in-house, but tasted good. The kids wolfed their meals down and so that box was ticked.

We’re glad we went and had a good time but unless we wanted to hold a party there or get a group of primary school-aged friends together I’m not sure we’ll be back. With no alcoholic drinks and no dessert our bill came to north of £50 - it’s possible to spend more on lunch in Whiteley but that is still a decent whack for a family so it’s very much a place to go for a treat (and parents may wish to avoid the merch and toys stand near the entrance!).

However, as a good-humoured special occasion you could do a lot worse than here.

* Extra brain-melting fact - Tyrannosaurus Rex was alive (66 million years ago) closer to the opening of Jurassic Grill (2022) than it was to Stegosaurus (150 million years ago).

Jurassic Grill, Whiteley, 01489 559817

Food – three

Ambience – four

Value – three

Child-friendly – five