I am worried about explaining my burn scars to my boyfriend | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.

Tuesday, 30th March 2021, 10:12 am
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who is worried about her scars.

Question: After an accident 15 years ago, I have burn scars on my hand and on my chin. I always try to cover them as much as possible, as I don’t want anyone to see them or talk about them.

Last year, I met an old school friend online who now lives in Australia who I had not seen since my accident. We Facetime every day. He says he likes me very much and wants to marry me.I like him too, but I have no confidence because of my scars.

But I feel guilty for not telling him. Please help me with what I should do?

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Answer: Whatever your scars look like, I’m certain they seem worse to you than they do to others. You are so much more than your scars.

You could tell him you’re concerned how he might react to your facial scars and you want to know if he can accept you as you are before he flies from Australia. If you’re serious about this relationship, you need to be open with him before he travels.

MY BOYFRIEND AND I NEVER ROW

Question: My boyfriend and I have been going out for the past 18 months and in that time, we’ve never had a row. However, whenever he talks about his previous girlfriends, it seems he had rows with them all the time.

Is it a good idea for couples to row and clear the air, or should I just leave things as they are between us and ignore our occasional differences?

Answer: I don’t think it’s a good idea to row all the time, any more than it is to ignore problems. Problems can get bigger the longer they are left unresolved.

For some people, a discussion and a shared resolution produce better results.

If you and your boyfriend are happy in your relationship, and if you’re able to talk openly with each other, rows may be avoided. The fact that this is playing on your mind though means it’s something you should review with your boyfriend. The chances are that these concerns are something you can resolve without losing your cool, and then put behind you.