My husband is so anxious about losing his job again | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.
By Fiona Caine
Published 11th May 2021, 10:00 BST
Updated 11th May 2021, 11:25 BST
Fiona Caine helps a couple feeling anxious about money.Fiona Caine helps a couple feeling anxious about money.
Fiona Caine helps a couple feeling anxious about money.

Question: Back in 2017, my husband was made redundant from the company he’d been with for nearly 15 years. He was devastated but fortunately found another job. He’s worked really hard for them and been promoted twice. But he’s now terrified the same thing will happen to him again.As a result, he’s been working all hours under the sun to make sure he stays in people’s good books. He has even suggested he should get a second job. How do I stop him from working himself to death?

Answer: I wish I could tell you that it will be alright, but I really can’t because who knows what will happen after all this.

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If you could get a job, it might take some of the pressure off him, but it’s hugely competitive. That’s doesn’t mean you can’t help. Give your husband all the support and love he needs and try not to directly criticise his decision to look for another job himself. Focusing on what we can control, like caring for our wellbeing, can be very beneficial.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I CAN’T CHOOSE BETWEEN MY BOYFRIEND AND HUSBAND

Question: I have two children and live with my boyfriend. My real problem though is that my husband is getting out of prison soon, and I’m sure there’s going to be trouble.

Before he went inside, he was often violent, but he says prison has changed him and that he’ll leave me alone, as long as I let him have access visits to the kids. My boyfriend says I should have nothing to do with him but I’m still worried.

How do I decide what’s the best thing to do?

Answer: Why have you got to choose one or the other of these men, when clearly neither is right for you? Get rid of them both! Neither is likely to provide you with the long-term support and love you need to raise your children, so why not break away and make your own life? Once you have accepted that you don’t need either of these men dictating how you should live, you will probably be very much happier.

You probably can’t completely cut your husband out of your life, as your children do have a right to see their father.