My husband resents our son and it is upsetting me | Agony Aunt

Question: My son is 32 and left home seven years ago. However, he still comes home every weekend and brings his washing with him.

He still has a room in our home but my husband thinks it should be a guest room. I don’t mind this at all – I’m happy to have him around but my husband really resents it. For me, it’s important that he looks good and that he eats properly at least at weekends.

We always seem to be having rows about our son ‘paying his way if he wants to stay under my roof’. It is upsetting me a lot and I don’t know what to do for the best?

Answer: Although you’re close, I am surprised to read that, a young, independent man is spending every weekend with his parents.

At 32 he’s old enough to be organising his own washing and feeding himself properly. I think it’s time that you all, as a family, discussed how you all feel. Your son has a secure, well paid job, so making a contribution to the household is not unreasonable.

I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN TRUST MY GIRLFRIEND

Question: I have been engaged for the past two years to a girl I have known for more than 10 years. We recently bought a house together, so I was devastated when I learnt she had been having an affair with a colleague at work.

We had several difficult, tense months and she kept begging me to let her stay as the affair was over anyway. I still love her very much, but I feel terribly hurt and I don’t see how I can trust her again.

Should I carry on with this relationship or finish it?

Answer: You say you still love her so finishing your relationship is going to hurt you a lot.

If you carry on as you are though, you’re still going to struggle to trust her, so surely it would be better to try to find out why the affair happened rather than finish things.

For things to improve, you need to work out what went wrong and put it right. If you can do that, your relationship will be on far more solid ground for the future.