My parents think I should divorce, are they right? | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.
By Fiona Caine
Published 22nd Dec 2020, 09:53 BST
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who's partner says he doesn't love her anymore. Picture: PA Photo/thinkstockphotos.Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who's partner says he doesn't love her anymore. Picture: PA Photo/thinkstockphotos.
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who's partner says he doesn't love her anymore. Picture: PA Photo/thinkstockphotos.

Question: I am 24 and have a 18-month-old baby and another one on the way. Last week, my husband of only two years, who is 22, went back to live with his mum.

He lost his job five months ago, and he’s been so worried about money. I think he was finding the reality of family life just too much.My parents are horrified that he’s done this and are putting great pressure on me to get a divorce.

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Are they right – is my husband just weak, or will he ever be able to cope with life?

Answer: This is YOUR life, YOUR marriage, and if you allow them to override your wishes now, I am sure you will regret it later.

I would be quite firm with your parents, if they start pushing you on divorce matters. Whilst they obviously have your wellbeing at heart, they may not have been impacted in the same way, either economically or psychologically, so don’t really understand.

Suggest to your husband that you could talk to a Relate counsellor together (relate.org.uk).

WILL I EVER FIND SOMEONE I WANT TO BE WITH?

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Question: Why is it so hard to find somebody to share my life with?

I’ve had two failed marriages and several failed relationships. The trouble is, whenever I meet someone, they seem to want sex straight away and I just want to be able to meet people without having to get involved immediately.

I have been on my own now for 10 years and I think it’s time I tried again.

Answer: I wonder whether it’s worth trying a different approach to dating?There are also plenty of people who want to take things slowly and are focused on meeting the right person – it’s a question of finding suitable matches for you and being clear about what you are looking for.Perhaps stop thinking about meeting someone to share your life with and think, instead, of finding new friends?

Then, once you’ve established the companionship you need, you’ll be able to think more clearly about a serious relationship, the years ahead and what you want in the future.