A front-row seat at Crewe's theatre of absurd: What really happened on a day of farce for Portsmouth

‘He’s not listening,’ the Crewe boss justifiably fumed, as he signalled to public enemy No1 in referee Martin Coy. ‘He doesn’t want to listen!’

A ball was then slung across a sodden strip of the Gresty Road pitch, zipping truly to an eventual standstill to underline the former centre-back’s point.

Coy had just signalled his intention to postpone a match which really should’ve taken place, following his 1.50pm pitch inspection.

The Durham man and his assistants had been surfacing at regular intervals, to sample a deteriorating surface over the previous couple of hours.

‘Worried’ was the word from the official over the game’s prospects, as Pompey arrived to give the Railwaymen’s pitch a once over at 1.30pm.

This was the juncture for the first bout of misinformation to surface from the tunnel area, which seemed to be a recurring theme for the next hour as confusion reigned.

No plan for a pitch inspection became a 1.50pm official assessment of whether the game would go ahead.

For all the rainfall and spreading surface water there was never a true indication of the ball not rolling as it should. The conversation about players’ safety more debatable at that moment, however.

The big cause of consternation was the brick wall the home side came up against, when trying to relay knowledge of their playing surface to the man with who would make the ultimate call on the clash taking place.

What took place next would've offered some consolation entertainment to the 1,500 fans who’d been sold woefully short, had they been present.

The News were afforded a front-row seat as the incendiary mood exploded at visual confirmation of Coy’s decision to postpone.

‘It will be gone in half an hour,’ Artell furiously stated of the water now disappearing from the pitch, with Crewe groundsman Danny Walker confidently asserting that would be the case.

Danny Cowley remained more controlled in his emotions, suggesting the furious toing and froing should take place less publicly.

The Pompey boss' demeanour was interpreted as being a man happy to not have a game, in the eyes of Alex under-23 boss Alex Morris.

‘We haven’t sat on a coach for five hours yesterday not to play,’ was the perplexed assessment of Blues No2 Nicky Cowley.

By now players and staff from both camps had emerged from the tunnel to get a handle on what was taking place.

What’s all the fuss about? Is the game definitely off? Can the referee change his mind?

This was an avenue staff and executives on both sides were keen to explore with the pitch now perfectly playable, and the man who made the call likely realising the hasty error of his ways.

Cue a procession of main protagonists making the way to the referees’ office, each with their own take on the same viewpoint. Each emerging frustrated.

With stewards and police told to stand down and fans now on their return journeys, backtracking was never a notion with any merit. The decision damage had been done.

That reality was slowly permeating through the two camps, with both dressing rooms united in the views the game should be taking place.

Aiden O’Brien, Mahlon Romeo, Clark Robertson, Ronan Curtis, Gavin Bazunu and Connor Ogilvie came and went, each as bemused as the next at the game being off.

Ryan Tunnicliffe was the same, but at least had the idea of a protest 11-a-side training match on a pitch deemed unplayable - just to underline how much of a sham the afternoon had become.

It would have been a wasted gesture, however.

Coy and his team of assistants had already skulked off at this point, swiftly exiting right from the tunnel and evading requests from the press for an explanation of his decision.

Meanwhile, Crewe chairman Charles Grant was left a simmering ball of rage doing his very best to keep a lid on his emotions, as he saw the matchday income generated by the visit of a club of Pompey’s size go up in smoke.

Keith the Crewe kitman was okay, though. He was grinning as he intercepted the pies supposed to feed a non-existent crowd, feasting on an impromptu slap-up meal.

It was a comical sight to raise a rare smile, perhaps a fitting final act to this farce at the Gresty Road theatre of absurd.

A message from the Editor, Mark Waldron

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