Kuti's of Wickham | Takeaway review

And to that can we add getting home with a takeaway, setting it out on your kitchen table, and loading up your plate? That’s up there with the best.

It was a chilly night – although not enough to freeze puddles – and the Dish Detective does not have a fire at home. The DD had had enough of lockdown, and wanted warmth, spice and fun.

We’d been for a walk in the countryside and got suitably sopping that day.

We wanted to eat something we couldn’t cook ourselves – the DD can produce a tidy roast dinner, has a handful of impressive pasta dishes up their sleeve and is confident in the staples, but is never going to cook three different dishes at once in order to satisfy all levels of heat.

And so the call was made for a takeaway, even if it did involve a few minutes’ drive to Wickham.

Wickham was looking lonely that Saturday.

The Square is usually full of cars as people visit the pubs and restaurants. This cold, dark and windy night, it was almost empty, giving it an eerily quiet feel, as if it were Christmas Day.

One of the attractions that in normal times draws people to Wickham at night is Kuti’s, the curry house on the main road, that in the past decade or so has gained an enviable reputation.

And there, having called to place an order and check a couple of dietary requirements – questions that were answered straightaway, in a reassuring manner – is where the DD found themself.

The eeriness of the outside world is echoed inside. Tables are all pushed to one side, the bar is closed and the lights are dimmed.

I accidentally get there 15 minutes early and am secretly pleased to find the food isn’t ready so I know it wouldn't have been boxed up sitting around had I got there at the allotted time.

In those 15 minutes I have a two-metre-spaced chat with a friendly customer who placed his order when he walked in and was hanging around for it. We may be in strange times, but it’s a welcome reminder of normality that we talk weather, roads and local trivia.

I leave with achari lamb, hara duck, lamb karai, a pilau rice, a lemon rice and a garlic cheese naan – plus a complementary dish of mushrooms and potato (god love the tradition of whacking a random freebie into takeaways – it’s the best kind of roulette).

Once home, the kitchen is filled with an immense smell as the boxes are undone.

The lamb achari (£8.95) has the tart suck of lime, a decent hit of chilli and also a dense taste of spice – not just heat – which feels like cumin and garam masala is working hard. Advertised as ‘Madras hot’, it’s at the gentler end of Madras – there’s no risk of sweating.

Where the achari tastes almost earthy, the hara duck (£12.50) is a far cleaner, fresher taste – again the sauce had a bit of kick but it was the zing of coriander that left the impression. This dish was a new one to the DD and a welcome discovery.

The lamb karai (£8.50) is milder, more bobbing around the medium mark.

What was a theme was the quality of the meat; the DD has been to some curry houses where a lamb dish can leave you with jaw-ache from the chewing; here, you could cut the meat with, er, a fork.

We end delightfully full after washing this down with a bottle of Cobra from the Co-op (the price of curry house lager is not something the DD misses in lockdown).

And what's more, it's been the best part of food.

It has been something to talk about, something to be excited by, and something out of the ordinary.

It's by no means a cheap option – the DD banged out a £40 bill and that was after reining in a desire to splurge on samosas, sag aloo and the rest.

But by goodness once every month or two it’s very well worth it.

Kuti’s of Wickham, Fareham Road

Telephone: 01329 835353

Food: 4/5

Value: 3/5