Our daughter’s fiancé called off their engagement | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.

Fiona Caine gives advice to mum who is comforting her daughter through a break-up.
Fiona Caine gives advice to mum who is comforting her daughter through a break-up.

Question: When my 22-year-old daughter got engaged a few months ago, we were all thrilled and she was so happy.

Last week though, her fiancé called to tell her he wanted to break it off. He says he’s confused and unsure about what he really wants, and that having been furloughed, he’s been able to think long and hard about it.

Inevitably, my daughter has taken this badly, especially as he continues to tell her that he loves her. Do you think this is the case, or has he just got cold feet? What can I do to help my daughter, as she’s so unhappy?

Answer: It must be heart-breaking when someone who apparently loves you goes back on their commitment. Love and support are what your daughter needs now, and I suspect her fiancé could do with much the same.

Perhaps encourage your daughter to share her feelings of devastation with you, rather than with him. I hope, in time, these two young people will be able to tie the knot and be together.


Question: I recently asked a neighbour, who I’m friendly with, if she would witness my signature on a legal document. She seemed quite happy to do it and I sent the papers off to my solicitor the same day. So, it was a bit of a shock when she said she’d changed her mind and asked me to take her name off the papers. I told her that all she’s done is witness that I am the person who signed the document. She was adamant though, and in the end we both got quite cross.

I hate what this has done to our friendship and wish things could go back to the way they were.

Answer: There is little you can do if your friend won’t listen to you. Might it help, though, if you were to enlist the help of an impartial third party?

Would reassurance from a legal advisor at Citizen’s Advice, for example, help her to understand what her signature means under these circumstances? Try telling her how upset you feel over this incident.

Tell her that you value her friendship and would like to go back to the way things were.