'Can't put into words': Military wife thanks RBL for helping husband who forgot she existed after head injury
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Allen Parton forgot who his wife Sandra and two children after a traumatic head injury while on deployment
The wife of a Royal Navy veteran can’t thank a military charity enough for supporting her family in their darkest hours.
Sandra Parton heaped praise on the Royal British Legion (RBL) for being at the family’s side after her partner Allen suffered a traumatic head injury. He was involved in the life-changing accident while on deployment during the Gulf War in 1991.
He was placed in a lengthy coma and underwent rehab for five years, forgetting who his wife and children were. Allen’s mobility was severely reduced from the waist down, and he tried to take his own life twice. The family were living in military quarters at Headley Court at the time, but were set for eviction and faced an anxious wait to find a new home.
The RBL stepped in and found them a suitable property in Clanfield, after Sandra was previously told they could only move to either Haslemere or Wilton near Salisbury. Thanks to the charity, children Zoe and Liam could stay at the same school and not be separated from their friends.
Sandra said without the RBL’s help, she’s not sure what would have happened when the big reality hit home. “We didn’t know where we were going to live,” she told The News.
“The house is the baseline for everything. The children always lived in married quarters and had just started school. You become a unit there and everyone is in the same position as you.
“It was important we were around people linked to the pre accident family and post accident family. Getting that house was an enormous help. You can’t measure the amount of support we got. You can say thank you, but you can’t put it into words.”
Sandra said the worst part of Allen’s accident was that it happened far away from home. “It was such a long way away and I couldn’t see him,” she added.
“My sister died in the same week. The household was struggling. You hoped they were over worrying, but it wasn’t until I spoke to him that I knew it wasn’t fine.”
The former nurse said the husband she knew had changed, but continued to stand by his side. The dad his children knew was very different. “Everything became very serious, and everything was a big drama and trauma if something wasn’t in the right place,” she added.
“It was constant. He previously lived on a wing and a prayer, but now everything had to be checked and double checked. We all had to grow up. We were moseying around in our own life, and then suddenly it wasn’t there. You don’t ever think it will happen to you.”
Sandra said Allen’s progress from coma to now was slow, with everything focused on methods to remember things. “I don’t think it ever stops,” she added. “If one thing takes up a lot of his time, other things will drop off.”
Alongside the Clanfield home, the RBL provided Allen with a high-powered wheelchair. He is a staunch supporter of the charity and has attended numerous Poppy Appeal launches and meeting the late Queen Elizabeth II in 2009.
The Poppy Appeal in 2025 raised nearly £400,000 in the Portsmouth area alone. Last year saw £152,871.74 raised in the city, £70,776.04 in Fareham, £47,026.35 in Havant, £35,411.37 in Waterlooville, £20,723.29 in Hayling Island and £71,495.88 in Gosport and Lee-on-the-Solent. The organisation supports serving personnel and their families before and after service with various needs.
This year, the RBL is highlighting the challenges and sacrifices that military wives and children face while their loved ones serve. Sandra understands the challenges given her father, Arthur Douglas Wrixon, fought during the Second World War and deployed on the Burma Campaign; being awarded a Burma Star for his service.
She believes more help is needed. “We had to find extra support and do a bit of digging,” Sandra added. “It would be nice for families to have a named person who they could call if they needed them. They need an inroad from the outset, rather than in a crisis. The young children suffer more.”